It's All Garber All The Time In Hades

Somehow I think that Sven-Goran Eriksson is the one who needs to stay off the front pages. He's been very quiet during the England MNT's downtime but that couldn't last as he's got to compete with Mourinho for the sports pages. Yesterday he made a statement that there needs to be a code of conduct for young players.

I just love how Eriksson loves to stick his nose into the dealings of the footcer leagues. I'm wondering when Bruce Arena is finally going to follow suit. While Eriksson takes it overboard it would be nice for our national team coach to even pay attention to MLS besides raiding its players for international tournaments.

It might help matters.

Yesterday MLS Commissioner Don Garber gave his State of the League speech and then took time to answer questions on MLSnet.com.

Sometimes I swear that guy is completely off his nut.

For example, there was a question about MLS expansion to Montreal: "The Montreal Impact of the A-League is clearly becoming a major soccer franchise in canada with it's attendance being this year in the twelve thousands almost each game. We are beating all our records in attendances since a few years, our team has a solid ownership group in Saputo and we even have a brand new soccer specific stadium being built. I was wondering if MLS had ever considered Montreal as a possible expansion city for the years to come?"

Garber's response was typical of his head-in-the-clouds attitude:

"We're very impressed and happy with the success Joe Saputo is having in Montreal and we believe it speaks to potential for the sport in Canada. However, at this point, our efforts have been focused in Toronto."

So back up. In Toronto, they have major issues with a stadium deal, can't get an ownership group together, and draw less than half of what the USL team in Montreal draws. But Garber is committed to TO. Hey Garber, perhaps there's some land under the Brooklyn Bridge you'd like to build a new MetroStars stadium under. :)

In another question bound to piss off the world, Garber is seeming to back off on his pledge to FIFA to cap MLS at 18 teams. Yeah, that's brilliant. You know when MLS gets to its first division limit, he'd (please let him be out, please let him be out) just turn it into baseball making some sort of American and National League setup. That is, instead of doing the logical things and creating an MLS-2 and having teams fight for promotion (though not based on the European model, based more on the USL model where a team's fiscal performance and the like would mean promotion or relegation).

Frankly, I'm amazed he let D.C. United be sold to local investors. That just makes too much sense!

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In less aggrevating news than the nails on a chalkboard of Garber speaking, North Korea and South Korea have agreed to play a friendly. The reason? To commemorate the 60th anniversary of driving Japan off the peninsula on August 14. Ah, nothing says uniting like a common hatred.

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The World Club Championships draw was announced. I'm not sure I understand it enough to comment on it. Um, go Saprissa. :)

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Two major signings were finalized today. Milan Baros is joining Schalke 04 in the Bundesliga and Robinho is FINALLY joining Real Madrid (glad that soap opera has finally ended its run. For cripes sakes, I thought by the time Santos finally gave into the pressure, Robinho wouldn't even be a young player anymore.

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And finally, there may be a reason to bother with Scotland after all. Celtic really does look like they're in a little bit of trouble. Today, in the opener of the SPL season, they tied Motherwell 4-4, blowing a 3-1 lead in the process.

While this basically means the trophy makers can engrave Rangers on the cup now and save themselves some time later, the SPL will get more interesting when it comes to who gets the second Champions League spot if one of the Old Firm falls off.

Then again, according to reports many want both of the Old Firm to be part of "EPL expansion" anyway. Get Garber involved and it just might happen. :)

Trying Not To Sound Like A Eurosnob In Columbus

The European fall footcer league season (don't forget some of the UEFA-based leagues actually use a similiar calendar to MLS, it's a big kept secret) officially kicked off today with League 1 in France. Paris Saint Germain (which I call the not PSV even though their PSG would sound that way over a bad cell phone) beat Metz in a battle of teams that almost no one outside France cares about 4-1.

This is quickly followed by the Scottish Premier League tomorrow and the Bundesliga next weekend (then the leagues I actually care about on the weekend of the 12-14th).

But as it stands, this is MLS' last weekend in the stand alone sun as far as league play and they made the most of it, hooking horns with a couple of the leagues that start the middle of next month and actually competing.

One thing I don't understand about D.C. United (not that as a Fire fan I ever try to get inside the head of the Screaming Eagles). Why on Earth did they pull Nick Rimando at the half? He's not playing in the All-Star Game after all so it wasn't for the rest. So here you've got a guy who's got the second best GAA in the league and you pull him to test a rookie - AGAINST CHELSEA! You know, Chelsea. Maybe the best team in the world?

Not that Rimando would have stopped the Crespo goal, but you've at least got to give him a shot. Perhaps United got caught up in Chelsea subbing in an entirely new team for the second half and wanted to try it themselves, but cripes!

Anyhow, as it stands, footcer teams in the North America can hold their heads high that not a one of the teams that set foot on the pitch against European competition got blown out. And, two of the teams actually won. Besides Vancouver's victory over Sunderland, the Crew beat Fulham 2-1 on Wednesday.

Yeah, I was a little disappointed, but I'll count it as a victory for MLS just the same. But see the Crew had a little trick up their sleeves. At halftime they played "Rock The Casbah" by The Clash. Fooling Fulham into thinking they were at home, they blew the game. See how that works? No. Oh my fate! We're getting relegated for sure! :)

Still it's nothing like what the teams in the J-League are doing. MLS' buddies in the second tier, spring to fall season world got another huge win this week as Kashima Antlers beat Manchester United 2-1.

Though MLS and the J-League still have something in common. People complaining about the creation of Eurosnobs through these tours in general. In the case of Asia, it's FIFA crying foul. Here's the thing though. Eurosnobs are always going to exist if you feed their urges or not, they're still going to root for big European teams. At least if you bring these teams over, you get money in your own team or league's coffers.

To be fair to MLS, the teams have a pretty good record against international competition. For example, the Crew have never lost to a team from the EPL and stand at 2-0-1. They're 6-1-1 overall in international exhibitions (thank you the Columbus Dispatch, it's nice to read a paper with real footcer coverage). Similarly, the loss to Chelsea was D.C. United's first loss against a team from England.

But, hey, anything's possible on any given day. Look at Celtic's 0-5 loss to Artmedia Bratislava. Now enough people have poked fun at the Hoops all over the internet so I won't join in the dog pile. No, I'm going to defend them (and hope no Rangers fans with guns come after me). I've been to Bratislava, Slovakia and the team was probably in awe of how it looks even more run down than Glasgow and couldn't concentrate on the match.

Not surprisingly the punters have quickly put their money on Rangers to win the SPL now.

Perhaps Manchester United will hit a similar snag in Eastern Europe as they're traveling to either Croatia (Split is actually quite a nice city though) or Debrecen, Hungary (not a nice city, but it does have a bowling alley) - most likely Debrecen since they won the first leg against Hajduk Split (who know the United States defender had a team named for him) 3-0.

The BBC has some great coverage on the Who's? Who? of the 3rd round of the Champions League.

Everton actually plays a real team, Villareal (read my profile and see who I'm rooting for) so England may be back down to four teams going into the group stage. ;)

I'll have more at a later time. Right now it's off to go get drunk with some FulhamUSA people.

My fate. I really do sound like a Eurosnob now. :)

No Blood For Footcer

Tomorrow I get to live the footcer dream in Columbus, OH seeing Fulham play on United States soil against the Columbus Crew. Well, really the dream would be watching Fulham play the Chicago Fire in my back alley (though they'd have to use indoor footcer rules because it's not a very wide thoroughfare). But watching Fulham (hopefully) beat up on the Crew in a "private" friendly (clutches imaginary FulhamUSA membership card to chest) is a close second.

Getting ready for the little over seven hour car trip from Chicago (it's a long story involving horrible planning), I totally neglected to realize that the Champions League second round was happening today.

In a result that isn't really a surprise, Liverpool beat Lithuanian champions Kaunas 3-1.

The only thing really important coming out of this match was that Milan Baros did not play since if he had played for Liverpool, he couldn't play for any other team in the Champions League this season. The deadline for Champions League qualification of players is coming up so the Czech should be somewhere else very soon.

There was a more evenly matched event and one with great political significance in the Champions League today. It marked the first time a team from Cyprus had met a team from Turkey. The team from Cyprus, Anorthosis Famagusta, won 3-1 in a huge upset.

But the biggest upset of all was the win against violence at this match. Cyprus is divided right in half with Turkey and Greece ready to go back to war over it at a moment's notice. Geez the Champions League is living life on the edge this year! Only 1,500 Turkish Cypriots were willing to cross the Green Zone to see the match.

What's next. A match between an Iranian and an Iraqi team as guest invitees?

Speaking of the Iranians, in a simply brilliant move I didn't know about, Milwall invited the national team of Iran to play a friendly in London.

Now there's a difference between Inter Milan cancelling their group of English friendlies (which is back on thank goodness) and inviting danger. Who does Milwall think they are, UEFA? I mean if you're going to risk the lives of Britons, at least the friendly can involve someone of the caliber of Tottenham (or to be fair and self-effacing Fulham).

No blood for Colaship teams! :)

Oh, never mind, the Iranian national team also played QPR (how could I not be paying attention to that) with that London also-ran winning 3-0.

Let me rephrase...

No blood for a Colaship tour! :)

Of course, being a fuzzy liberal, I do have to state that the last jokes about Iran were done purely in gest. And, after all, violence amongst fans or players knows no boundaries. Just look at Manchester United's match against Beijing Hyundai where yet another European side got in yet another scrap with a far east Asian side.

Then again, it is Manchester United. Perhaps the members of FC Car Company were just trying to get tryout with FC United by showing that their hatred for the Red Devils knows no bounds. :)

We've Discovered An Alternate Footcer Universe

Geez. I go away to rock out for one weekend and the entire footcer world turns upsidown. It's been well publicized that MLS was a giant clusterf*c* for the top teams of the league. I haven't updated the one-table standings on this blog because I fear the second I do, the world will end as I admit an alternate dimension exists.

Chicago, FC Dallas, and New England can take solace in the fact that this last are first. Real Madrid lost a pre-season friendly 0-3 to Tokyo Verdy.

Tokyo Verdy sits in 17th (second to last) in the J-League and had recently fired their coach.

The match also involved an ugly spitting incident. Kazuyuki Toda is alleged to have spat in David Beckham's face. He later left the game on a stretcher. Imagine what would have happened if he had mussed Beckham's hair?

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One of the joys of looking for funny footcer news is the names one discovers. In a story on the African Champions League, I discovered there's a team called Arab Contractors from Egypt.

I'm wondering what the alternative would be in Egypt.

Again, if we found out, the world might end.

Perhaps They're Staying Home To Kick Their Dogs

The reaction to the London bombings by Inter Milan is just silly. They have decided to cancel their planned friendly tour of England over security concerns.

This is a team whose fans' behavior caused the forfeiture of their Champions League derby with AC Milan. And they worry about safety in England?

To be fair to Inter, they think they're being altruistic in the whole thing by saying they don't want to stretch English security thin by forcing a group to break off and protect the visiting team. But, seriously, what do they think? Do they think there are only 25 police officers in the whole of the United Kingdom and that half the security will have to break off to protect their depressed asses?

London Mayor Ken Livingston put it best when he said:

"I think that it is a very silly thing to do because it is playing the terrorists' game. They want to change the way we live."

He's definitely an outspoken one, eh?

Well, off to Lollapalooza and I'm not going to worry about the security concerns one bit. Unless they confiscate my camera. :)

Stop Trying To Out Tough Everton Man City

Whoever pulled the prank at Old Trafford to turn the giant red Manchester United sign into a four letter word (although I feel stupid not being able to figure out which one) is my new hero forever.

I really mean it. This weekend I'm going to Lollapalooza here in Chicago (totally selling out the MLS and the United States MNT by not watching a game) and paid $125.00 to see J. Mascis, my old hero. I'd pay twice as much to meet that guy. :)

I'm sure a lot of other people would too. But probably just to kick the sh*t out of him (it can't be that word because the "H" comes before the "S"). Oh, I just figured it out. It's c*nt. Duh!

It seems as though many Manchester United fans would also like to meet Rio Ferdinand in a dark alley. But, they'd need a few more of them than to beat up the guy who changed the sign.

These fans could re-enact the experience of their crosstown rivals whose Joey Barton got into a fight with a teenage Everton fan in Bankok. But to be fair, as I pointed out before, Everton and their fans are much tougher this year so a 15-year old Everton fan could be a fair fight.

Anyhow, he got sent back to northwest England and his time with the team may be running short.

It's really good this incident didn't happen at the Peace Cup because then it would have been even more inappropriate. By the way, in the most underpublicized tournament ever (there were some huge names in this friendly tournament like PSV, Lyon, Boca Juniors, and Real Sociedad), Tottenham is playing Lyon in the finals this weekend. The winner gets $2 million U.S. (well they get it in whatever currency they use I guess).

In 2003, the L.A. Galaxy were actually in this tournament which was won by PSV. Sure it's great that the MLS All-Stars are going to Spain but it would be more greater if the MLS could get their way back into this tourney again.

So long as they promise not to get into any trouble in any bars in South Korea that is.

Oh, and of course I must join the mosh pit of United States MNT admiration and hope they beat Panama soundly on Sunday to win the Gold Cup. I always knew they could do it. ;) Hades, I was one of the few people who was paying attention to the Gold Cup at the start. :)

It's Time To Play The Manager Firing Ponies

A few days ago, British bookmakers William Hill (oh to have legal gambling all across the United States) published the odds of who they thought the first manager in the Premiership to be fired would be. Not surprisingly Newcastle United's Graeme Souness led the list as no one seems to want to play for him. And those that do what to play for him he wants nothing to do with.

Somehow I don't think the W.C. Fields school of management will work out very well Tyneside this season (Newcastle United are actually one of my picks for surprise relegation contenders due to the fact they're hemorrhaging players from a team that wasn't that great the second half of last season to begin with).

The entire list is as follows:

5-1 Graeme Souness (Newcastle United)
8-1 Chris Coleman (Fulham), Alan Pardew (West Ham), Alan Curbishley (Charlton), Alain Perrin (Portsmouth)
12-1 Paul Jewell (Wigan), Mick McCarthy (Sunderland), Bryan Robson (West Brom)
14-1 Alex Ferguson (Manchester United), David O'Leary (Aston Villa)
16-1 Rafa Benitez (Liverpool)
20-1 Steve McClaren (Middlesbrough), Steve Bruce (Birmingham City), Martin Jol (Tottenham), Mark Hughes (Blackburn)
25-1 Stuart Pearce (Manchester City), David Moyes (Everton)
33-1 Sam Allardyce (Bolton)
66-1 Arsene Wenger (Arsenal)
100-1 Jose Mourinho (Chelsea)

Were I allowed to be a betting man, I'd have to put my money on either David O'Leary or if I was feeling really ichy for a long shot Mark Hughes.

The reasons are totally opposite for picking these two contenders. Mark Hughes because Blackburn has picked up a few new toys to play with and will have higher expectations than finishing just above the relegation zone. David O'Leary because Aston Villa has high expectations due to last season's results and can't possibly live up to them.

Pardew should not be 8-1 since West Ham seem to be making some great moves and are setting themselves up as long termers in the Premiership during the close season. And as their promotion buddies Sunderland and Wigan don't have much expected of them, they might as well keep great managers at the second level around just in case.

The biggest surprise in the relative short odds category at 14-1 is Alex Ferguson.

There's only one reason he'll be fired of course and that's if he falls out of favor with Malcolm Glazer. A lot of supporters are pissed at Man U for finishing third two years in a row but Ferguson is Glazer's leverage with the fans as he's saying (without speaking it), "look, we're keeping the man you love around."

The only way Sir Alex is going anywhere is if he falls out of favor with the fans and is no longer a marketing piece. Or, of course, if the FA keeps discipling Ferguson for his comments to the point where it becomes a nuisence to the Red Devils.

Still Ferguson seems to be looking at his options - just in case.

One career option that was reported today that I found quite funny is tour guide.

While in China for his team's next set of friendlies, Ferguson had the following advice:

"As for the visit, I think I must go to the Forbidden City, because it is very worthwhile from an historical angle.

The Great Wall and Tiananmen Square are also worth visiting. I think Beijing has a lot of places worth visiting but time is the key."

While he shouldn't quit his day job (unless he's forced out) that's actually not bad text for a travel book. Rick Steve better watch over his shoulders.

But not nearly as much as Graeme Souness. ;)

Well Isn't This Statement Obvious

Ah the humble Premiership manager, I have been known to sit for hours and watch - hey quit it with the baseball!

Between Ashes coverage, there have been a lot of happenings about. Most of them are common knowledge by this point like Peter Crouch signing with Liverpool (I think they have now assured themselves fourth) and Andriy Shevchenko (who I didn't know spoke that much English or Italian) nearly pulled a P.J. Carlisimo on his coach at AC Milan but instead just told him to "play me or sell me" in front of dozens of TV cameras. Then denied he wants to leave AC Milan.

This second story actually had Chelsea, fresh from the kill, chasing another bunny rabbit to slaughter - though AC Milan has big bear teeth to defend Shevchenko.

That furry moment aside, Chelsea was on the verge of opening up channels of communication to AC Milan stating, "we want another trophy for the bench er wall, can we have Sheva dirt cheap - like 60 million pounds or so?"

AC Milan turned down the offer stating their star player was not for sale at any price.

One good thing came out of the whole deal, the Ukrainian sung Elvis Costello:

"I don't want to go to Chelsea, I want to stay here. I love Milan and Milan loves me."

But as is well known, most teams and players have a price when Chelsea comes a-knockin'. And Chelsea, with the name your price attitude always responds to a high ball first offer with, "we'll take it!"

Meanwhile as managers are bound to say the darndest things, Jose Mourinho had an "I'm shocked, shocked there's gambling going on here in my casino" moment stating that "the English market is crazy."

Thank you Mr. Obvious. Or should I say Mr. Obviosoihnho. And how exactly did the Premiership market get that way? Let's see. Perhaps it was you saying to your owner, "I want that player and I don't care about the cost."

Surely an early choice for the "Stupidest Quote By A Manager" award for Premiership season 2005/6. Of course this award is nearly bound to go to Jose. I put up a poll on Big Soccer of which manager in the Premiership would say the most stupid things this year. Mourinho is leading with 20 votes out of 25 voters.

Much more exciting than cricket. Jose should have his own sport devoted to him. :) Or he could just have Roman Abramovich buy him a sport and rename it Mourinho.

I Don't Think The USA Should Feel Too At Home This High In The FIFA Rankings Either

Wow! Just wow! As a lot of people know, I'm an outspoken defender of the FIFA rankings (though some tweeks in the points system are definitely needed). This month, however, I can't say a single good thing about them. They have completely gone off the deep end. They're living in a fantasy world of Lord of the Rings level complexity and imagination.

The United States is up to #6!

There goes what little credibility the current ranking system had left.

Though some portions are relatively accurate. France has finally fallen out of the Top 5 after doing next to nothing for the past five years. Argentina finally gets their second place deserves. And those proponents of Sominex Footcer, Greece lose their Euro bounce and fall to #19.

Thank goodness the United States isn't any higher (though according to some, the Gold Cup bounce for winning it combined with the dropping off of results from seven years ago may put us as high as #3) or there could be an army of Dutch planning an attack.

Sure that would be a turnaround from history, but anything's possible. ;)

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The mantra of the rest of the message board punditry seems to be this: wait until the next World Cup and then you'll get embarassed. Fine enough. We probably will.

The silly thing is, the next World Cup actually starts today. But this one doesn't count in the FIFA rankings. The Homeless World Cup runs through the 24th in Scotland.

This yearly tournament isn't actually as much of a joke as it might seem. Certainly there's a shock value involved but it's not like bum fights. These street athletes actually train and have some skills (at least as much as your average rec leaguer). And the money the event raises goes to homeless charities around the world, to wipe out homelessness.

There has been just as much controversy with this World Cup as there probably will be with the real thing, however, as the United Kingdom has banned members of five African teams from entering the country. In retaliation, the five African teams pulled out of the tournament.

The reason that the British authorities are stating for denying the participants entry Visas is they're afraid they don't have money to support themselves. That's kind of ironic, since, well, none of the participants from any countries have money to support themselves. :)

Seriously though, it's for a great cause and I just hope the British government can put politics aside and let the African countries play with their full contingents. Politics should be reserved for the FIFA rankings. ;)

The Unoffical BS Top 25 (7/20/05)

Tomorrow is my favorite footcer day of the month, the publishing of the new FIFA rankings. Tomorrow's rankings should be interesting as the Confederations Cup matches are included. Argentina should move up from their current 3rd into second along with Mexico leapfrogging France into 5th (as France's past glories they're living on get further and further into the rear view mirror).

Yeah, I totally expect a giant crap storm to blow over the continent of Big Soccer.

After the last FIFA rankings, I decided to create a poll on that set of message boards to settle a little of the score. Instead of people subjectively threatening each other with bodily harm, I tried to create a subjective to objective poll much like the AP and USA Today polls in the United States.

And the BS Top 25 was born.

Of course I made the mistake of posting it on World Rivalries first and, yeah, crap storm.

Then scaryice (who if you don't read their Climbing The Ladder blog, you should) suggested I move it to The Beautiful game.

28 voters later (who ranked their personal Top 25 in the world from #1 to #25), the results are actually pretty interesting.

Since I'm going to bombarded with work tomorrow and needed to get the HTML somewhere, the readership of the Footcer Socblog gets a "preview" (well, it's the whole thing so it's not really a preview) of the first ever Unofficial BS Top 25.

It's not supposed to be this dramatic, but I can't get the formatting worked out. :)

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Rank	NT	PTS	FPV	LM	TMA
1	Brazil	696	26	--	--
2	Argentina	662	--	--	--
3	England	608	--	--	--
4	Netherlands	602	1	--	--
5	Czech Republic	561	1	--	--
6	Italy	522	--	--	--
7	Portugal	507	--	--	--
8	Spain	447	--	--	--
9	Germany	436	--	--	--
10	Mexico	418	--	--	--
11	France	392	--	--	--
12	Sweden	348	--	--	--
13	Ukraine	275	--	--	--
14	United States	250	--	--	--
15	Croatia	234	--	--	--
16	Ireland	223	--	--	--
17	Greece	214	--	--	--
18	Turkey	165	--	--	--
19	Denmark	144	--	--	--
20	Poland	123	--	--	--
21	Paraguay	120	--	--	--
22	Japan	112	--	--	--
23	South Korea	102	--	--	--
24	Serbia & Montenegro	100	--	--	--
25	Ivory Coast	88	--	--	--

Others receiving votes: Cameroon 82, Iran 76, Nigeria 76, Ecuador 74, Colombia 60, Switzerland 30, Tunisia 29, Senegal 20, Uruguay 19, Morocco 12, Romania 12, Finland 7, Slovakia 6, Norway 4, South Africa 4, Australia 2, Israel 2, Bulgaria 1, Chile 1, Costa Rica 1, Saudi Arabia 1

NT = National Team
PTS = Total Number of Point (1st Place Vote = 25, 25th Place Vote = 1, etc.)
FPV = First Place Votes
LM = Last Month's Ranking
TMA = Two Months Ago's Ranking

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An actual funny entry (well perhaps it will be funny) to follow later today or tomorrow.

Let Me Grab My Purse And Take My 2.3 Kids To Practice

Sorry to be so grumpy, but I am flat out sick of being called a "soccer mom." Thankfully, long before I start this rant, Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun Times has been getting a deserved amount of hate mail, but I just had to link to his open anus, insert head column from yesterday.

In it he makes a lot of outlandish claims, like footcer players are sissies (I wonder what matches he's watching where he thinks footcer isn't a violent sport), but my "favorite" is this gem where he describes the average footcer fan in the United States:

...minivan moms, school-age participants and ethnic pockets in urban centers...

Now I know he's been to a match before because it seems like he wrote his column like a kid who was forced to go somewhere he hates and then write about it for a book report. And it's fitting to call him a kid since his little temper tantrum is about as astute and accurate as someone copying their neighbor's test.

Everything he says in the column is the old cliches.

Today he was on "Pardon The Interruption" alongside footcer hater #1 Michael Wilbon,(who once claimed his fat patoot could play as well as Freddy Adu because all footcer players do is run around). He didn't need to repeat his claims because Wilbon did it for him.

I think Wilbon just memorized Mariotti's column while masturbating to it and repeated it verbatim now that I think about it. ;)

But Mariotti went on to add to his claims saying that footcer is a "Euro-fad" sport and "Euro-fad sports never catch on in America."

Shows how little he knows of history as every sport we have in the United States except for basketball had their origins in Europe as something similar. We just changed the rules! But I wouldn't expect him to know anything about history playing on every provincial stereotype in one screed.

And, hmm, yeah footcer's just a fad. Too bad it's been around for a lot longer than his beloved football which he so heartily defends. I mean American rules rugby. :)

As The Helmet Ball Players Report It's Still Any Given Saturday In Footcer

While it's still upsetting that the Los Angeles Galaxy/West Bromwich Albion friendly that was scheduled for later this week was cancelled (though the televised match against Real Madrid by the same MLS side makes the hurt go away), the footcer fans of the United States still got to see what happens when a lower level Premiership team plays a North American team pre-season.

The results were quite surprising as the Vancouver Whitecaps beat Sunderland 3-0. The Canadian team, currently in fourth in the USL (and not in the US Open Cup since, well, they're not an American team), showed that it could be a very long Premiership season for the Black Cats.

Imagine if they had faced an MLS side!

Next is the Seattle Sounders on Wednesday. If they lose that, they might as well start printing Colaship ticket aps for 2006/7. ;)

Or not, since it's only pre-season. Still, for cripes sakes, it's a USL team. It at least doesn't bode well for the FA Cup when they face someone from League Two.

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Looks like it will not be a USA/Mexico final at the Gold Cup as a lot of people were predicting. In front of an almost home crowd in Houston's Reliant Stadium (the Mexican MNT is probably the best team in any sport that will play there this year), Colombia pulled the second biggest upset of the weekend winning 2-1.

If anyone's seen the goal that beat the Mexicans, it's a contender for Goal Of The Year (hades, Goal Of The Decade). The thing looked like a simple pass but had the right weight on it to float over the keeper (who wasn't even on his line yet as the bar was so far out) and just under the crossbar.

It could very well be classified a miracle. :)

Had a defender blown on it while it was still ten yards out, it would have floated over the goal.

The semis on Thursday are the United States v. Honduras (who upset Costa Rica) and Colombia v. Panama II (Panama upset Colombia 1-0 when they met in game #1 of the entire tourney). Panama beat South Africa on penalty kicks in the late game yesterday.

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So with all of the crazy upsets going on, I won't count the Los Angeles Galaxy out tonight. But I still think any confidence is a little unfounded (especially without Landon Donovan).

After all, it's not the weekend anymore. Any given Monday only applies to the pointy ball.

All Is Both Right And Wrong In The Footcer World

Yesterday was truly a beautiful day for footcer in the United States. Oddly enough, the Real Madrid/Chivas match here in Chicago got more media coverage than the United States/England match back in May. And, for the thousands of people who showed up just to see footcer Elvis, hopefully the exciting 3-1 victory by his Real Madrid team, in which he got an assist, was enough to draw them back for non-celebrity filled matches.

And of course David Beckham didn't let down his legions of Cosmopolitan reading teenage fans. He prettied himself up quite nicely for this match.



You can almost hear him saying to his teammates, "don't mess up the hair lads, I've got magazines to sell" (or however you'd say that in Spanish).

Despite trying to maintain picture perfect fashion form on the pitch, he also played a spectacular match, including getting an assist off a free kick on the tying goal. So, I can't knock him too much.



But thank you Footcer Elvis and the footcer dream team for coming to Chicago (although after the Bayern Munich/Manchester United C-Team fiasco that happened last year, the match didn't sell out) and putting footcer on the map - at least for one day.

The rest of my pictures from Real Madrid/Chivas are at http://home.ripway.com/2003-8/22463/realchivas/.

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In related news, Real Madrid is now the richest club in the world, passing Manchester United.

Or at least their President, Florentino Perez, is making that claim. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink, trying to scare Chelsea and Barcelona much* ;)

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It was good news all around as far as the general viewership of footcer in the United States was concerned. The numbers for Univision's Gold Cup coverage were announced on Thursday.

And according to Nielsen, the Mexico/Jamaica match in the qualifying rounds set viewing records in Hispanic household in the United States drawing in 2.2 million Hispanic households. Included in this number were 3 million Hispanic adults between 18 and 49.

And the bigger Mexico/Colombia quarterfinal match today could continue this trend.

The whole thing leaves me in the awkward position of thinking I want the Mexico MNT to go on in this tournament to keep footcer viewing at record highs.

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Of course not all is rosy in the footcer world. I leave for a few days and a lot of stories go to crap.

- Chelsea bought Shaun Wright-Phillips from Manchester City - in another example of golliath kicking the snot out of David.

- Sao Paulo fans went bezerk and rioted after their win in the Copa Libertadores.

- Jared Borgetti joined Bolton. I think that team is trying to make me into a fan, but it won't happen.

- Finland's, of all countries, top league is now in a huge crisis due to cheating (and the world sighs a huge, "who cares.").

And MLS' All-Star team was named and the world nearly came to an end with the imbalance. Frankly, I'd rather just see FC Dallas and New England Revolution combine to face Fulham. Now that would be a match!

Especially if Fulham doesn't have Luis Boa Morte anymore if he goes to Newcastle United. Coca Cola Championship, say hello to the Cottagers. They might have a long little meet-and-greet with you.

Scores, Scores, Scores, No Time For Highlights

Alright, today was too footcer saturated to even begin to cover all of what happened in the world. But since I never follow up on the stories I start, here are the finals on every match I mentioned in the past three or four weeks to hype: Mexico 1, Jamaica 0; Liverpool 3, TNS 0; Shelbourne 2, Glentoran 1; Violence in Northern Ireland due to Shelbourne v. Glentoran 0 (thank goodness)!

Here's another interesting score: Cuba is minus one player and potentially one citizen. If nothing else comes out of this Gold Cup, Maikel Galindo, is seeking asylum in the United States.

Were I in immigration, I would make him a deal. I would give him citizenship so long as he agreed to play in the MLS and not just use his United States passport as a ticket to play in Europe. We've got enough free Caribbean players using MLS as a jumping point (*ahem Damani ahem*) so this one gets no breaks. :)

Speaking of Cuba, they lost to Canada yesterday. Canada, however, was the worst third place team on goal diffential and, as such, two of our three nearest neighbors are going back to the drawing board.

Mexico, however, with their victory over Jamaica tonight draw...COLOMBIA!

Judging by the smack talk over on bigsoccer.com between the Mexicans and Colombians already, this match promises to be the marquee matchup of the quarters on the 17th. The other three quarterfinal matches are (all times are United States central):

7/16 12:00 Honduras v. Costa Rica
7/16 3:00 USA v. Jamaica
7/17 2:00 Mexico v. Colombia
7/17 5:00 South Africa v. Panama

As much as it saddens me that again the United States will be the one to crush the Reggae Boyz's dream (just like in WCQ), what has to be done has to be done.

There was actually a risk of the United States drawing Mexico in the quarters which is a matchup no one wanted to see that early. Had Jamaica beaten Mexico, the potential finals matchup would have happened in a few days. With the United States' recent "luck of the draw" it wouldn't have surprised me one bit.

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With all those scores, scores, scores, I didn't even mention the U.S. Open Cup matches that took place today. But if you're a Real Salt Lake fan, I'm really sorry. Minnesota is a good team. Honestly. Six goals is perfectly normal for them and you were missing Eddie Pope. :)

I Can See The Caravan Of Cars On I-94 Now

This is still all in the rumor and innuendo stage, but since we're still technically in the silly season, I thought I'd spread it as fate's honest truth and run with it...

Milwaukee is now the top candidate for MLS expansion in 2007.

Today at noon there's a conference call scheduled between the MLS brass and a group of Milwaukee investors, led by former Chicago Fire front office icon Peter Wilt (the main reason for the "fan boycott" this season is that he was fired earlier this year), is going to announce the purchase the rights for a team in Milwaukee and try to secure the rights for a soccer specific stadium as part of a redevelopment project downtown in the other city on this side of Lake Michigan.

I for one couldn't be happier. I'm so happy I could get drunk on borrowed beer right now! Goose Island, pshaw! ;)

I figure it's an even trade, Peter Wilt for Milwaukee's finest export. After all, Chicago's been drinking Milwaukee beer for a lot longer than MLS has been around.

Anyhow, this is great news all around for Chicago as we'll finally have a real derby partner in MLS. Certainly FC Dallas has been a fierce rival and I hope the fans keep the Brimstone Cup alive but we're talking 75 minutes here (well a little more starting from Bridgeview). You can't even get to Dallas from Chicago by plane in 75 minutes (I know this first hand because I'm going there on a business trip down to Texas tomorrow) - you'll be sitting on the runway at DFW or O'Hare for at least 75 minutes to begin the trip for goodness sakes.

And if the other worst kept secret in MLS, that is San Jose moving to Houston, is true, Chicago will be looking for a new fiercest rival anyhow as the FC Dallas side might lose a lot of interest.

If and when Milwaukee gets a team, this will be only the second real derby in MLS history with Galaxy/Chivas USA being the first. Fans will actually be able to travel between the stadiums in large numbers (as is evidenced by the amount of Cubs fans at Brewer games) and that can only be good for attendance at these four matches a year. It may be the first MLS rivalry to really require a designated visitor's section!

Waiting with baited breath for the official announcement...

Hope it doesn't fall through like the last rumor I got truly excited about, Figo to Liverpool. Yeah, that was a bad call on my part. I admit freely to jumping the gun on that one. :)

Everything You Wanted To Know About TNS And Naked Spaniards

I thought it was the Italians who were supposed to be fascinated with fashion, but apparently it's a big deal in Spain too. There's a major hubbub right now about Barcelona's president stripping down to his underwear at the city's airport. According to the Reuters story linked above:

"The irate Barcelona president was reported to have hurled his shoes into the air and then taken off his trousers after being asked to walk through the scanner again and again."

But what I wonder about the whole thing is how many Beckham fans (note I didn't say Real Madrid fans) are hoping for a similar situation to occur when he comes to the United States later this week?

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Meanwhile, in fully clothed news, the Premiership friendly season has started!

Of course the big matches actually start in ernest tomorrow as Liverpool takes on TNS in the first leg of their Champions League first round tie. There will be at least one familiar last name on the side that should get steamrolled (by what some fans are predicting as double digits) - Rooney.

TNS has brought in a secret weapon in the guise of Thomas Rooney (Wayne Rooney's cousin).

At the tender age of 20, he's got a shorter resume - and shorter criminal record - than his more famous cousin. But there are many interesting facts about TNS.

For example:

- TNS charges nearly the same as Liverpool for replica jerseys. In the last six years, they've sold three (alright I just made that last part up).

- Even charging only five pounds a match for adults (and one for children), TNS only averages 333 fans a match. And we all thought MLS attendance was low. :)

- There is one international on TNS - Jamie Wood who plays for the Cayman Islands. Well, both matches they average in qualifying.

- Peter Crouch, who may be signing with Liverpool, has only heard of TNS in passing but may very well be able to buy the team with a couple of his weekly salary at Anfield. Alright I made part of that up too.

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Tonight should be a good match at the Gold Cup (and no that's not a contidiction, thank you very much) with the United States and Costa Rica playing. It's purely for pride since both teams have already qualified for the knockout rounds but pride's on the line as to who wins their group.

On Being Carlos Ruiz And How It Must Suck

You might never hear me say this again but I feel bad for Guatemala's (and FC Dallas') Carlos Ruiz. Not that he needs a little link because I think every MLS fan knows who he is - he's MLS' villian.

It's a reputation that's not undeserved, of course, since he's one of the biggest floppers in the world. But, beyond his theatrics, he's also one of the best players in North America.

Yesterday night in what many are calling the match of the tournament (something I predicted it could be in half-assed attempt at Gold Cup prognostication), the Reggae Boyz of Jamaica beat Guatemala 4-3 in the after card of Mexico/South Africa (at least according to some - most notably Yahoo's footcer news which didn't even bother to run a story).

Guatemala nearly tied it up with a late flurry which Jamaica's defense (they're so entertaining since they're an offense first side and make silly mistakes) barely withstood.

Who had all three goals for Guatemala? Carlos Ruiz.

Here's where the Pescadito hating comes in. So here's Ruiz with a hat trick in a losing effort and it's a footnote.

Oh, and for the message board punditocracy, of course there was the fact that he got one of his three on a penalty kick to make fun of him for. And, to boot, he got a yellow card after his penalty kick for celebrating by kicking the ball back into the net after the PK goal.

That's classic Carlos Ruiz of course. He'll do something brilliant and then he'll do something that makes the fans go, "why the hades did he just do that?"

But I hope he keeps on being the unlikeable S.O.B. he is. He needs to keep being a villain as MLS needs his identifiable character. They actually need to sell it more. Casual fans need to be made aware of his antics, come out and hate on him when he comes to their town.

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Speaking of coming to town, I saw something on the bigsoccer.com boards that really disturbed me.

In a thread on Gold Cup attendance, the question was asked why more fans in Seattle didn't show up for the United States/Cuba match (and it's accompanying Canada/Costa Rica two-for-one deal).

The answer one person gave was they were upset that the Seattle Sounders match scheduled for Qwest Field got bumped due to the Gold Cup. I can understand their frustration since the Portland Timbers, their arch-rivals were in town, but come on. That match was the next day!

So here you have a city, like Miami, that either have had an MLS team in the past or are on the short list to have one in the future and you draw low numbers for a MNT match out of protest? That's a sure way to win friends and influence people in the MLS hiarachy.

Though I can see why Seattle doesn't have a team (besides the real reason that they can't get a financial backer or a group of them). If MLS were to "promote" them (in reality it would be giving them an expansion team) they'd have to take Portland and Vancouver - their 30-year arch-rivals - with them. So it's probably best they stay in the USL where everyone in the northwest can be a happy family.

Still, I'm a little jealous at the number of traveling fans all three get. It would be nice for MLS to have that.

It would also be nice for MLS to have someone named Preston Burpo.

Not for quality of keeping of course (though he does have a .66 GAA in the USL), but just for pure entertainment draw. :)

They Just Don't Take That Kind Of Thing In Spain

Looks like Real Madrid has made a statement against Italians, I mean whiners. To be fair, neither of the players in questions is from Italy (and one is the whole reason I loved Real Madrid in the first place, Figo) but Real coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo issued the following statement:

"If Guti said he didn't like it here and was going to go and find another club he should have gone. But as he is here it is because he didn't find another team and he should appreciate the work."

He's a big Smiths fan I guess. Doesn't he know that finding a job makes you miserable? :)

Heaven knows I feel old now after making that comment.

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Poor Mexico.

After South Africa announced they couldn't convince players to come out of their club commitments to make the trip to the United States for the Gold Cup, a lot of pressure fell on Mexico's shoulders from the rest of the region.

It became their job to humiliate the guest country to show what they think of them snubbing our regional tournament.

Oops.

Unlike the United States, the tired El Tri (half of whose roster was just coming off the Confederations Cup) could not get a second wind and lost to South Africa's "team" 2-1.

Someone of bigsoccer.com summed it up the best way I've seen (though I think the thread it was in may have been considered offensive because now I can't find it):

"The United States gets a victory and Mexico loses within 24 hours, it's like going to Disney World."

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Speaking of Disney World, it looks like the Group A matches are resceduled for this weekend due to Hurricane Dennis.

Stay safe anyone reading this in Florida.

But, this just confirms what I've thought for a long time. Fate (especially when it has to do with weather) just hates footcer when it gets inside the United States borders.

Don't Be So Sad Italy And Cuba

I know I should probably give Landon Donovan a break today after his two goal performance as a sub in yesterday's Gold Cup 4-1 win over Cuba (who knew the United States could score three goals in just under 10 minutes, we're talking Holland or Portugal clips for that pace) but I just can't.

I need him for a brilliant (well in my mind anyway) transition.

If Landon Donovan ever decides to show his face in Europe again he should definitely play in Italy. Apparently a lot of the players there are deeply unhappy. He'd blend right in with his grumpy guss personage if he were to get benched again.

According to the above linked survey:

"Almost two thirds said they were stressed out by their job, citing the pressure to perform and fear of injury as the biggest causes of anxiety."

But today's a day to celebrate getting out of a near footcer pitch disaster (it does feel slightly inappropriate to use that word today after yesterday's tragedy in London - my heart goes out to them) that turned into a whalloping so no dwelling. :)

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Oh, on a related story about Cuba. I think it was wrong to underestimate that team if that's what Bruce Arena did yesterday. All over the footcer boards of the world, amateur pundits were calling for a 5-0 victory. But I think people forgot that this was a team that tied Costa Rica 3-3 on aggregate in World Cup qualifying last june (with Costa Rica only making the first group stage on away goals).

Plus you know, if they went home getting really embarrassed on the world stage, Fidel would make their lives more miserable than that of any Italian footcer player.

Oh Yeah CONCACAF Is Still Playing Internationals

London it is then. Never underestimate the power of Posh Spice to swing a vote. And I guess her relatively anonymous husband (as I mentioned yesterday) didn't hurt either. Keeps those legs up David, the United Kingdom needs you! :)

The united team really does excite me for no other reason than it will remind Scotland that they really don't have a very good team (of course seven years down the line, who knows). And goodness help Wales. It's going to be like the British and Irish Lions tour this year all over again (sorry to bring rugby into this).

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But why look seven years down the line this morning when the CONCACAF Gold Cup (otherwise known as Euro's little stepbrother) kicks off in Miami tonight.

I don't want to make light of it since it does have some very interesting matches like Guatemala v. Jamaica scheduled (in Group C). The Reggae Boyz have got to have a chip on their shoulder trying to prove that, despite missing the hexagonal, they're still the 4th best team in CONCACAF. Similarly hard lucked Honduras, in Group A with Panama and Trinidad & Tobago will be out to prove that the best teams aren't necessarily competing for the 4th World Cup spot.

And there's the always violent grudge match between the United States and Canada in Group B (though it's pretty one sided). Two of the three North American behemoths (at least land area wise) who take footcer lighter than most of the world. Still Canada has been known to do some things in this tournament - like winning the whole thing in 2000.

Almost fittingly, based on the true language demographics of the region, the entire thing is being broacast in the United States exclusively in Spanish on three of the four major Spanish networks (who are all owned by the same company, talk about media conglomeration).

One last bit of international excitement before the Premiership season can't hurt -regardless of those who would dismiss this tournament as a "B" team tournament because of who's missing due to the EPL camps starting up.

For an amazing preview of the tournament, check out the Climbing the Ladder blog and ignore my blathering for the last few paragraphs. :)

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On team that's not going to be there, or anywhere it seems, in the near future is Barbados. Due to infighting in the small island nation, FIFA has suspended their federation.

Of course, it's not like this is a powerhouse. Not to look down upon the CONCACAF minnow like we're looked down upon by a lot of Europe, but their little drama really doesn't make that much difference in the grand scheme of thing. It's just funny to watch these little rivalries that mean so much unfold.

Super Becks With The Super Big Words Again

It feels as though it's been a while since I've bashed David Beckham outright (for that matter Wayne Rooney will get his soon too) but today I just can't help it.

As everyone probably knows, London is one of the five finalists for the 2012 summer olympics. And not for nothing but it's one I support (being from Chicago, I never like seeing New York City win anything). Well, David Beckham is the "secret weapon" of the London bid - being originally from the area of east London which will become the host area in the megalopolis.

The silly part of this equation is that England doesn't compete in Olympic footcer. Unlike FIFA which lets the United Kingdom play as four separate home countries, the Olympics tells Great Britain to unite or don't bother. Due to this England (or for that matter Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland) haven't sent a footcer team to the Olympics in decades.

Though Becks and Sven (as I like to call them when we're palling around) have promised that if London gets the bid, the United Kingdom will send a team.

Frankly, I'd vote for London just to see that happen - if I could vote.

But in the madness that is the final run-up, I think David Beckham took it a little too far. Talking in the same tone that he used to "hint" that he might someday play for the Los Angeles Galaxy, he told reporters today:

"It would be great if our country could have a football team in the Olympics. To perform in the Olympics would be special for a lot of players I have played with. I might come out of retirement - if I'm retired by then!"

My first thought when I heard this was, "like David Beckham would on the first choice for one of the three over-23 players England would choose down the line." Right now he might be but in a few years, he wouldn't be, continued the thought.

Then his actual age - 37 - in 2012 hit me.

And now I still can't stop shaking my head. I mean by that time he'll be playing for the L.A. Galaxy, so England won't want him to have to choose between club and country and all. :)

But it looks like he's keeping his options open to compete in anything.





It's not like the United Kingdom has that many choices in basketball. ;)

Loud Noises Coming From Elsewhere On July Fourth

While it's Independence Day in the United States, the fireworks all seem to be coming from overseas footcer. The biggest explosion was Chelsea offering and English record transfer fee for Steven Gerrard (32 million pounds).

The natural comment here would be to talk about how Chelsea is ruining footcer with these huge transfers but I take a different tact on this. I'm thinking Chelsea is pulling a Manchester United. A lot of people complain that Manchester United is investing in South Korean international Ji-sun Park only to capitalize on the Asian market.

Similarly I'd like to make the claim (even though have "watched" Park at PSV last season I dispute the first mentioned issue people have) that Chelsea want Gerrard to make themselves more popular in the English market. Most people's complaint about the London club (after of course that they buy a team) is that they don't invest in English talent.

Well, there you go, an English international of the highest caliber who could come to London. Though why they're spending so much money on a midfielder when they've got issues trying to sign a striker (mostly because so many teams won't play their game), I'm not sure - if not my claim.

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Similar big explosions are happening at Real Madrid in Spain. Besides Steven Gerrard himself (he's got to be getting a huge ego over all of these big money clubs fighting over him), the La Liga side is looking at 24 different options to sign.

A lot of people complain that Real Madrid isn't going to bring over their best players in their tour of the United States in a couple of weeks. But defending the Galacticos, I'm not sure even they know who their first team is going to be starting the season.

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The biggest shakeup, however, involves very little money in comparison. Nigeria, on the outside looking in as far as World Cup qualification goes, is looking for a new coach.

And since African qualifying starts up again very soon, they're looking for someone to start next week or before.

I'm not sure that they won't be able to achieve this since despite their successes in the world, how many people are going to want to coach in Nigeria? The list of people is going to be pretty short coming from the other direction.

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There is one thing going on in the United States footcer-wise today. In what could be the match of the season, New England travels to a sold out Home Depot Center to play the Galaxy in a July 4 extravaganza.

While Angelpool is on the skids right now, the atmosphere alone is going to have me glued to Fox Soccer Channel. That is when I'm not distracted by the setting off of fireworks elsewhere.

Man U Cleaning House, But Not In The Way Some People Feared

We're now discovering what Malcolm Glazer's business plan is for Manchester United. It seems to be that he's not placing a limit on transfers. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

Under the Glazer regime the first order of business seems to be selling off the garbage backups collected over the past few years.

Goodbye (possibly) Louis Saha, you're going to Everton.

Goodbye (possibly) Alan Smith, you're going to Newcastle United.

Hello Christiano Ronaldo, you're being signed for life.

I think I've said it before, but I really wish Red Devils fans would get their heads out of their backsides. I think that's where they're pulling the bottles they're tossing at Glazer's sons are coming from.