Things To Be Ashamed Of Or Not

If you want something to feel proud of as a United States based footcer fan check out last week's BBC Radio Five Live's "Fighting Talk" (which is, by the way, the absolute best sports pundit show on Earth) on mp3. I won't say anymore, but it's a beautiful thing. But check it out soon because the new one will be on the interweb before the sun rises in the United States.

Something to be not as proud of was pointed out by Du Nord. MLS is ranked the 71st best top flight footcer league in the world in their rankings of all things club related.

Now Du Nord makes the point that 71st ranks the MLS as just ahead of India. But that analysis (though it was made as a joke) is a little faulty. Here's the problem with the International Federation of Football History and Statistics ranking formula. The criteria are as follows:

"The classification of the best leagues of the world is made objectively without any out side influence of any sort. We follow the criteria that the level of performance of a league is reflected by the best classified teams of that league who in turn usually represent their country in international club competitions. If one looks at the football power-houses of the world, one notices that regularly 4 or 5 clubs of their leagues are always competing in con tinental competitions. By adding the points won in all competitions by the five best placed clubs of each league, we have the points for the country which in turn helps to establish a fair classification. It is important to note that only the yearly classification is representative, since all competitions move along the whole season and over twelve months, we have an objective view of the best. This system has been used since 1991, and it is recognized today as the most precise in rating the leagues of the world."

Their criteria is going to be unnaturally biased against CONCACAF whose club competitions are basically a joke. For one thing, the main club cup here doesn't have five teams from any league to even carry the banner (Mexico only qualifies four if I remember correctly). For second, the league is so short that there's really not a huge set of data to analyze (whereas in UEFA or the AFC the competition goes on ad infiniteum). Though I think their methodology counts knockout phase relatively equally.

A few other interesting things come out of these statistics. The first is that the world is considering the wrong four when it talks about the Big Four European Leagues - England, Spain, Italy, and Germany.

Sure enough La Liga, the Premiership, and Serie A are the top three leagues in the world (in that order which might surprise the English types but not a lot of others) according to the rankings (though Italy is tied with Brazil). But the fourth best league in Europe isn't the Bundesliga. It turned out it's League One in France - by over 100 points over Germany. Too bad I can't stand Lyon's domination enough to care about the fourth league in Europe. :)

More promising for the United States is the rankings of the individual teams. The MLSers come in at the following slots:

#273 Kansas City Wizards
#317 D.C. United

"What's so great about that?" one might ask. Here's why it shows promise. Ranked below DC United are the following Champions League and UEFA Cup qualifiers: Dinamo Tiblisi and Malmo. In the gap between the Wizards and D.C. United are: Lokomotiv Plovdiv and Maccabi Haifa. And those were just the names that stuck out (because I'm too exhausted to come up with the full list).

Amongst the general top league sides from all over the world ranked below the Wizards are: Cruz Azul, Racing Santander, Twente Enschede, Birmingham City, Aston Villa, Real Socieadad, Denizlispor, Siena, Livorno, Charlton Athletic, and Messina. There's also a certain west London team who lost to the Columbus Crew and are ranked #328.

So by all accounts, the two MLS entries who crack the top 350 are actually better than four Premiership teams (plus at least couple that miss the list completely) according to the rankings. While I don't know if that lends credence to my contention that a couple of MLS teams could make the playoff spots (at least) in the Colaship or not, but it doesn't hurt it. :)

By the way, Catholica Universidad, the team that knocked D.C. United out of the Copa Sudamericana, they're #51 in the world according to the rankings. Just saying is all.

Though having said that, I question the entire list since the #1 club team in the world right now according to their formula is: Inter Milan. Chelsea ranks #14 behind Liverpool, Manchester United, Newcastle, and Arsenal.

On what planet is Inter Milan the best team? Sure if they win the Champions League this year (as the betters have them as one of the favorites of doing), I'll have to eat my hat but I'm thinking it won't happen.

And in what world is Real Madrid #36 and Barcelona #37 (both behind Celtic)?

Fate, I sound like one of those people who knock the FIFA rankings on this one. ;)

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There are a couple things for Germany to be ashamed about besides having the Bundesliga lose its status as the fourth best league in Europe and both involve the World Cup.

The first is beyond Germany's control but the name and likeness of its World Cup hosting is being used in an internet phishing scam. FIFA warns to avoid taking seriously all e-mails that advertise a FIFA lottery giving away rewards for information. So, there's your footcer public service announcement for this decade. :)

The second act is just shameful by the Germans (and I'm only saying this half jokingly) and involves hiring a passion play director to direct the opening ceremonies of the World Cup.

Well, gee, let's think about this for a second. When was the last time Germany hired passion play types to get heavily involved in a sporting event? Perhaps it was the 1936 Olympics. Maybe they're just trying to scare Israel off from qualifying as they could possibly do early next month (though now it's an outside shot involving some crazy France, Switzerland, and Ireland scenarios).

Yeah, that was in as poor a taste as Germany hiring the director. But two can play that game. And my embarrassment is more easily forgotten. :)

Tracking Down Jose Mourinho's Safe Area

Poor Jose Mourinho. It seems as though he's adopted the Chris Rock strategy for trying to gain popularity. He's started a new interview strategy of "Everybody Hates Chelsea."

In his sudden fit of paranoia, he's established that there are only about 200,000 possible Chelsea fans in the entire universe. Now, Jose being the master tactician that he is established it scientifically by limiting the space where possible Chelsea fans might exist to a GPS-ish accuracy.

"It is the world against Chelsea. The Fulham Road, the King's Road and Setubal - my place in Portugal which is very small, only 50,000 people - are the only ones with us. Apart from those places it is the world against us."

I shouldn't quite call it that accurate since he seems to forget that the Fulham Road, not surprsingly, starts in Fulham where it intersects with the Fulham Palace Road - ground zero for Fulham support. So even those he thinks are for him are partially against him. :) Though I think that all the bandwagon Chelsea fans all over the world are scratching their heads as to why they're left out.

Since it's the group stage of the Champions League that he's talking about, I'm thinking for this he might be right. However, once it's in the knockouts, he'll be surprised (how he didn't learn this last year I don't know) how many people root for Chelsea just because they're an English team.

Though being involved in footcer for as long as he has, it's outrageous that he doesn't realize that most neutrals root for the underdog (this is true in any sport). I think he just needs to get used to that fact now that Chelsea is no longer the upstarts displacing Manchester United and Arsenal, but now they're the targets. Jose is not in Porto anymore.

Actually, today he's in Liverpool but the GPS location, I'm not sure. :)

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Sarcastic clapping has become the new swearing at referees. I can't believe in my giant screed against other teams from Monday I forgot Portsmouth.

In their 1-0 loss to Bolton last weekend, Alain Perrin (aka "the poor team's Arsene Wenger") got ejected from the match for sarcastically applauding the referee about a call. I'm not sure exactly what he was expecting after Wayne Rooney and a La Liga player (whose name I forget) got ejected from games for doing the same thing.

What I really can't believe about the whole situation, however, is that the FA let him get off without a touchline ban for Pompey's next match. If anything is true in the EPL it's that managers have the spotlight more than players. And, well, they should be a little more mature at the end of the day since it's their job to control situations, not create them.

It's one thing for Wayne Rooney to be a bad role model but who on Earth could have expected him to be a bad role model for Alain Perrin?

While the FA didn't dole out any punishment, there may have been reprocussions from a higher power. Almost immediately after Perrin was let off the hook it was announced that Tresor Lua Lua, pretty much the only player clicking in the south coaster's offense, has malaria and will miss approximately two weeks.

He seems to have picked it up while on national duty for his home country the Democratic Republic of the Congo during the last international break.

Now, it's been a big story this season that managers are getting really upset about injuries being picked up while stars play for their national teams. But what kind of outrage is this development going to cause?

Are the powers that be in the coaching ranks going to suggest the players all wear GPS systems to make sure they don't travel into any disease areas?

Or maybe mandate that it's only safe for them to travel to those limited areas where Chelsea fans live. At least, that could be the case if Jose Mourinho gets involved.

I'll Kick Alex Ferguson's Dog If He'd Like

Since Fulham seems to be in a terminal tailspin right now (not that anyone except us supporters expected otherwise) with no respite in sight entertaining Manchester United at the Cottage next weekend, I'm left with nothing to do except for make fun of other teams who are worse off. ;)

Target #1 of course is Everton who with Sunderland's unexpected victory against Middlesbrough find themselves pretty much where everyone expected them to be two seasons ago - in last place in the Premiership with three points in total.

Now, there are still those who say that sacking David Moyes might be a little premature (such as chief executive Keith Wyness). But I say that it's possibly the one thing that might save the team from being one of only a handful of teams to play in European competitions and be relegated the same year (and to the best of what I've seen, it's only happened to UEFA Cup teams and never to a Champions League qualifier).

Here's why I say this - it's entirely Moyes' fault the Everton offense is sputtering - only one goal in six matches. Or, well not entirely his fault since James Beattie and Lee Carsley are out. But, there is one move that the embattled coach could choose to make at any given point that he's refused to - bench Tim Cahill.

Flashback to last season - Everton's no offensive dynamo either scoring 45 goals but who lead the team? Tim Cahill with 11 (nearly doubling second place tiers Darren Bent, Duncan Ferguson, and Leon Osman).

But see the problem with Tim Cahill is he's Australian. Not just Australian but a really proud Australian who insists on playing every meaningless game for his home country. I mean, come on, they could have beat the Solomon Islands with Cahill watching from a comfortable chair in Liverpool. But the midfielder insisted on flying halfway around the world. That is not even to mention the fact that he played for the socceroos in the Confederations Cup.

And he didn't even pull a Jared Borgetti and take a nice long siesta on a mysterious beach somewhere. No, as soon as it was done, he reported to Everton's training facilities like a good little camper.

Unless he's borrowed some of Adrian Mutu's coke, he's not superhuman and that whole adventure has got to be taking a toll on him. He's played in 516 of 540 minutes for Everton this year so obviously he's pretending not to be tired but his 0 goals and 1 assist in the six games states otherwise.

In a situation like that it's up to manager to step in a sit the young man down until he gets his legs back under him. Perhaps Moyes is trying to hold out until the international break but if Everton loses again this weekend to Manchester City, he might not get the chance to explain that was his strategy all along. I mean I dropped Tim Cahill and I'm not even that good a fantasy manager. :)

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Target #2 is the usual suspect - Manchester United. Now, I think as is the usual the spoiled and prissy fans at Old Trafford are overreacting. But as usual Sir Alex Ferguson is not making matters any better by pouting and storming off stage at his Champions League press conference today.

While I wish I could find a picture of him sucking his thumb after that reaction (I'm sure someone on bigsoccer.com has doctored a picture into doing so), this is not the face of a defiant man by any means:



But it's alright, his right hand (yes)man Arsene Wenger was there to defend him. The fact that he still denies he pretty much echoes everything Ferguson says (and vice-versa is amazing, but to be fair to him, here's Arsene's full quote as reported in the press vis-a-vis the fans booing Ferguson at Old Trafford after the loss to Blackburn (I can't mention that nearly enough):

"You know I am not his best friend, but I found it really appalling. Of course like the players we are only as a good as our last game, but what this guy has done for the club, I find it horrendous and nearly unbelievable."

Or to paraphrase: "I'm shocked, shocked that the Manchester United supporters are not letting Ferguson live purely on reputation. Why soon the fans at Highbury could realize that we've already lost two matches and turn on me."

With all this going on, it's a small wonder why David Beckham wants to renew his contract at Real Madrid. Though apparently his Spanish isn't good enough yet to realize his current club coach is about to be fired way before Alex Ferguson is.

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And finally, I thought there was a bit of good news for Newcastle United (though now that they're winning, I can't really make fun of them) in that they got rid of Kieron Dyer (though he's not a player they really want to get rid of for anything except for bad memories) - to the Notting Hill Nothings no less (as long as no one points out that QPR play an entire neighborhood away from Notting Hill, I'm going to keep using it).

But alas, it was West Brom's Lloyd Dyer (who I'm not sure is related or not) who is being cursed by being sent to the little stepbrother of the other West London teams.

Here's an interesting tangential fact, Arsenal currently has the first best record in London behind Chelsea, Tottenham, Charlton, and West Ham with only a better record than a team I won't mention that play in the most wonderful place on Earth right on the River Thames.

Not mentioning that fact makes it easier to make fun of Arsenal, Newcastle United, and even throw in Colaship QPR for fun. :) And no I'm not making fun of QPR in advance of next year when Fulham and QPR are in the same division again. :(

Another I Don't Want To Talk About It Premiership Weekend

Congratulations to the San Jose Earthquakes (I think if they are moved after all this, they should become the Western Wanderers) on becoming the Western Conference Champions with tonight's 1-1 draw with FC Dallas.

Back at the start of the season, who would have thought they would clinch before the New England Revolution? Who would have thought San Jose would even be contending for much more than the Western Conference playoffs (which, come on let's be honest, were decided as soon as Kansas City was realigned to the Eastern Conference).

What was amazing about the match was that both teams actually really cared. It seems as though with Carlos Ruiz out, his aura spread to the rest of the team as it was quite a chippy affair.

Not that New England didn't have their own accolades today as a late winner that, surprisingly, wasn't scored by the usual suspect for such an achievement Taylor Twellman became the first team in the Eastern Conference to clinch a playoff spot. The Rev's magic number (which supporters have been calculating on BigSoccer since May) is now 4. A combination of gaining four points from the Revolution or dropping four points by D.C. United and the Revolution hang their second conference champions banner next year (and first outright since in 2002 they were awarded the ECC by a tiebreak over the Columbus Crew).

Meanwhile Colorado moved within two points of Los Angeles for the third playoff spot (with a game in hand) trying to avoid a first round matchup with the Earthquakes who have only lost one out of their last 19 matches.

But the best part of the Rapids match had to be the goal celebration by Dedi Ben-Dayan. This wasn't it but it does closely resemble what it looked like. I'm not sure this picture is even entirely work safe. There seems to be some pretty intimate stuff going on here. :)



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This morning, before the debacle of missed chances that again befell Manchester City (please get well Andy Cole, you're the only hope), the Carling Cup third round was announced and there are some absolutely amazing matchups. Or, well, they're intriguing as the Premiership and Colaship now stand but since the matches don't happen until October who knows at that point. Here are the six matches I see as best in the round:

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Gillingham at Doncaster - the team that eliminated Manchester City faces the team that eliminated Portsmouth. The draw means there will be at least one League One upstart in the 4th round.

Liverpool at Crystal Palace - every Reds supporter should be salivating over this revenge match. It was Crystal Palace that pretty much cost Liverpool 4th place last year (not that it all didn't work out for them in the end of course) winning 2-1 in London at the end of last April.

Charlton at Chelsea - nothing about today's performances would lead anyone to think that Charlton won't be in the top three in the Premiership in four weeks (especially with Manchester United losing at Old Trafford to Blackburn for the first time in 43 years today). It could be a Cup battle of first versus second in the Premiership that doesn't involve Chelsea and Arsenal.

Sheffield United at Reading - take exactly what I wrote in the last snippet but substitute "Colaship".

Millwall at Mansfield - if there's a draw that next year's Conference team can win in the third round of the Carling Cup it's this one (Millwall, quite simply and I've wanted to say this all season, is pants).

Leeds at Blackburn - despite today's shock, this is kind of matchup that every neutral loves to see. A bottom of the Premiership team (though after today's win, Blackburn are mid-table I don't expect that to last) against a top of the table Colaship team. This is what second division dreams are made of. And, as an added bonus, it's a sweet, old-timey reunion between Eddie Lewis and Brad Freidel.

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Fulham drew West Brom at home so that's somewhat good news. Both teams will still be in the relegation zone barring a miracle at Tottenham on Monday for the Cottagers so the Carling Cup may be all either has to play for. But, it could also be an awful snorefest as both are more worried about Premiership survival as the 10th game will have just passed.

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The Colaship reached the magical 10-game plateau today. You know that mystical spot that is kind of like Nirvana. "Wait until the league reaches the 10th game before you start making predictions," the pundits say, "by then it should be enlightening."

Well, Sheffield United and Reading just keep on winning. This doesn't mean as much as in the Premiership, of course, but it could be just like MLS, everyone fighting for the four playoff spots after these two gain automatic promotion.

After ten games, the Colaship standings are as follows (Leeds has only played nine so I gave them a little star):

1. Sheffield United (9-1-0) 28 pts.
2. Reading (7-1-2) 23 pts.
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3. Watford (5-2-3) 18 pts.
4. Luton (5-2-3) 18 pts.
5. Wolverhampton (4-2-4) 16 pts.
6. Stoke (5-4-1) 16 pts.
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7. Southampton (3-1-6) 15 pts.
8. QPR (4-3-3) 15 pts.
9. Leeds (4-3-2) 14 pts.*
10. Ipswich (4-4-2) 14 pts.
NOTE: Cardiff and Crystal Palace also have a game in hand and should they win that game, they would be in the top 10.

Does that look as refreshing to everyone else as it does to me? I mean besides the fact that the Notting Hill Nothings (a geographically incorrect nickname but I love the way it sounds) are in 8th. :)

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Thank you to Alex Ferguson for the most honest statement of the year. He didn't try to spin the loss to Blackburn (which I just love saying over and over) and followed through the mid-week statements from his team camp (though not by him) that Manchester United had to beat Blackburn and Fulham to have any shot at the title.

And, after dropping all three points today, he basic said, Manchester United is now playing for pride:

"I am concerned at the gap between us and Chelsea but I am more concerned with getting our game back together and playing with enjoyment and passion."

Well if it's fun the way Blackburn has fun, I just have to make the request to whoever can control it that Manchester United not injure Brian McBride or Luis Boa Morte next weekend. :)

Meanwhile, in contrast, Arsene Wenger is still living in a fantasy world. Despite drawing at West Ham today (which is actually a good result unless you consider your team a title contender) Wenger insists the race for the title is not over:

"If everyone is right about the championship, then let's stop, give them the trophy and then start again. If you think it is over, that is all we can do because it will be really boring until the end of May."

But if I were in Wenger's shoes, I might want the season to end today since it's more embarrassing to miss a Champions League spot after seven games than to miss one after 38. Though I'm sure in the end Arsenal will end up top four (since despite what they've been doing this year, they're only one point out of Europe right now).

Have A Hearts Team, Score Against Chelsea

We have the answer as to who is going to be the first team to score against Liverpool this season and shockingly it's Birmingham. There was a little bit of everything in this game - an own goal, a penalty kick, both teams actually scoring a goal from open play (which is something that hasn't happened to Liverpool all year). And, in the end, the result was much the same, just more exciting - Tyerpool 2, Suckingham City 2.

The thing that no one knows yet is who is going to be the first team to score against Chelsea. The Sun, however, in an ask and you will receive move, has offered 10,000 pounds to the first player that does. With the 0 goals conceded, I'm sure they'd rather take the beer offered in Germany in pure relief.

Plus, with the amount of goals that Chelsea is scoring themselves, the one goal probably won't do much. It would be funny, though, if it was some junior player who made his week's wages.

It would also be funny if Chelsea drops points before Hearts. Hearts now sit at 8-0-0 in the SPL by beating Rangers today 1-0.

There was one streak broken in the game, however, as Czech striker Rudi Skacel didn't score for the first time in eight games. But, with his seven goals in seven games (all singles surprisingly) he already destroyed the record of amounts of games in a row scoring from the start of the season. The goal did still come from a Czech, however, Roman Bednar.

Hearts did prove they were human, however, as they lost to (last place) Livingston mid-week in the CIS Insurance Cup.

Not much more yet this morning since I was up pretty late finding Podcasts for my new iPod Nano. One thing that I learned was that Soccergirl, Incorporated has absolutely nothing to do with footcer.

And yet, somehow it still provided hours of enjoyment yesterday. Warning, don't click on that link anywhere that you might get in trouble for doing so. It's even less work safe than my usual "feel the pain" links. :)

By the way, in case it's not obvious, I posted this seemingly pointless entry so Aston Villa will score against Chelsea today. ;)

Nothing Says Excitement Like An Alcohol Fueled Bet

Now some Chelsea fans have an overinflated idea that their team is not going to lose this season. But the second most dominant team in Europe right now, Bayern Munich, the only other 6-0-0 team in the continent's biggest leagues, has a set of corporate types which are really putting their money where their mouths are.

Bitburger Beer of Frankfurt has offered 1,000 litres of free beer to the supporters of the first team that can beat Bayern.

And, for each game that passes, the kitty goes up another 1,000 litres. In short, a team that beats Bayern Munich on the last match week of the season should no one else have, could supply their supporters with 31,000 litres of free beer.

Now, if a certain major ale of the northeast of England would do the same, there could be some more incentive for teams to beat Chelsea. Or maybe if Peter Kenyon is so confident that Chelsea can't be beat, he should talk to Roman about offering the same offer but with vodka.

It's not like the owner couldn't afford it if he has to pay up.

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Ironically 31,000 litres of beer may have been the amount of alcohol consumed by a set of Gambian fans who faked an emergency landing for their plane just to watch the U-17 World Championships in Peru.

The Rum Air (because you can't make this stuff up) flight was allowed to land at a small airport in northern Peru and the supporters were actually allowed to attend Gambia's match (a 3-1 win over Quatar). Of course I think this was probably just to avoid an international incident as the flight was chartered by the President of Gambia himself (though he wasn't on board).

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I think they haven't been sober in Vigo in Spain for at least 18 hours as Celta Vigo is back on top of La Liga after yesterday's 2-1 win over Villarreal (condemning the Yellow Submarines to last after four match days).

Just in case I haven't mentioned this before, Celta Vigo is brand new to the league after a promotion. So West Ham ain't got nothing on them. :)

Meanwhile my pick for second place Valencia pulled out a major shock tying the consensus pick of ever pundit's (or at least every pundit who cares about Spain's) pick to win the league, Barcelona 2-2 at the Nou Camp. It took an 81st minute goal from Deco to salvage the draw.

Why does Barcelona have to copy Real Madrid in everything? Los Galacticos go into the crapper so Barca has to also?

Well I guess the pain of tying Valencia is nothing that a little alcohol can't cure. Though I'm thinking Barcelona are in no position to have anyone put up casks of wine for anyone who beats them.

My Mind Is Cup Tied Right Now

Nothing says increasing excitement quite like having a series of meetings about increasing excitement in the Premiership.

What I want to know is just what they're planning on doing about it. The two things being cited are television saturation, ticket prices, and lack of competition. The first set of recommendations that could come out of the meetings would be to show less footcer on television in the United Kingdom. Let's see if Sky Sports is willing to negotiate what they've got now.

If attendance keeps falling, TV revenue is the stream that's going to keep a lot of teams going. Ticket prices they can reduce. But lack of competition would take the kind of tough decisions that the EPL isn't willing to make - such as salary caps.

But here's the thing about competition. If you take out Chelsea running away with the league, there is some serious parity in the Premiership this year. Sure the season is only about 15% over but looking at the bottom of the table, there is a serious logjam from Aston Villa all the way down to Everton, all the teams are beating each other - unlike the last few years, no team is really separating themselves out as relegation locks - except for Sunderland.

And there's a similar situation from Bolton to Tottenham looking for European spots.

Anyone who was thinking anything else would happen at the very top than what's happening now coming into the season was deluding themselves. And, even that's not true because Arsenal has looked beatable.

That being said, how about the Carling Cup today?

Too bad it was Manchester City taking the bullet on behalf of underdog supporters everywhere. I am getting extremely worried about my second team as it's pretty obvious Vassell and Sibierski are not a strike pairing that will take City anywhere but into the mix at the bottom. But with Cole gimpy, Ireland too young (and he didn't play well today either), and Fowler still not up to full speed, the blue side of Manchester is going to be screwed for a while.

But I mean, come on, it's Doncaster "Our Ladies Team Is First Rate" Rovers!

What's really disheartening is the fact that City lost the same way in the Carling Cup that they did on the weekend. The possible game winner in extra time hit the crossbar (as did one of the missed penalty kicks). And I've said it elsewhere but that's where Cole makes the difference. He sneaks the same shots in under the crossbar that everyone else on the team seem to be knocking into the woodwork.

Fulham nearly had a similar result but Brian McBride headed one of the biggest goals of his career against Lincoln City to give Fulham a 5-4 win over the League Two side! The reason it's one of the biggest goals he'll ever score is that it happened in injury time of the second period of added extra time.

Had the game gone to penalty kicks, Fulham would probably have lost. The goalie was playing like garbage (thank you Tony Warner from saving Fulham from having to start that guy) and if David James let in three penalty kicks for Manchester City, who knows what Ricardo Batista would have done.

Blackburn, at least had an easy time of it.

How's that for excitement? Though if that fails to raise the excite-o-meter there's are some various other kinds of excitement going on around the footcer world like Djibril Cisse posing nude for a French calendar (though that does nothing for me personally) and Wayne Rooney starting a verbal sparring match with Peter Kenyon.

But, that doesn't really do anything for me either. I'm sure there's more out there, but I'm too depressed to look right now - stupid crossbar!

Feeling The Pain In The Carling Cup

So much for Bradford being the team to pull the upset in the Carling Cup second round. West Brom pretty much sent the city the message that they should stick to rugby demolishing and demoralizing them 4-1.

However, the day was not without a couple of major surprises. Portsmouth pretty much maintained their Premiership form, practically beating themselves. Jamie Ashdown had the goal that tied the match at 2-2 go off of his backside after it ricocheted off the post (in a move that will now forever be known here as a Tony Warner now that it's happened twice) before Gillingham (current 20th in League One) scored an extra time winner to advance to the third round 3-2.

But I guess that's not a major surprise.

The Spurs loss to Grimsby Town 1-0 on the other hand is Earth shattering (and, well, were I a Tottenham supporter, I wouldn't want to respond to this entry, would I?). Poor Robbie Keane. All week after he scored the tying goal against Aston Villa, he's been asking for a start. From all reports, he didn't play badly but it can't look good for any of the bench players (and there weren't many as Tottenham really fielded a strong lineup) who broke in for this match.

The only other two Premiership or Colaship sides that "crashed out" were Southampton who lost to League Two's Mansfield, and Plymouth who lost to Barnet. But Argyle is barely registering a heartbeat in the Colaship so can we even really count them?

Funny thing about Mansfield. If the season ended today, they'd be in the Conference next year. Their manager just quit and they are the lowest ranked (because the BBC loves to combine all the tables when talking about Cup ties) team left in the competition.

There were other Colaship sides to bid adieu to their Carling Cup hopes but they all went out to other Colaship teams (or in the case of Sheffield Wednesday, a Premiership team). Wolverhampton, Coventry, and Luton all met their unlucky fate head on. Each of them lost by one goal to their equals Watford, Crystal Palace, and Reading respectively.

Sheffield United needed penalty kicks to beat Shrewsbury but at the end of the day, at least the league leaders are still alive. The same can not be said for most other teams at their level. It's not a good year to be a Coca Cola Championship team in the Carling Cup. The survivors from the 24 team league are (in order of current league standings): Sheffield United (1st), Reading (2nd), Watford (3rd), Leeds United (7th), Cardiff (12th), Crystal Palace (14th), Leicester (15th), Norwich (17th), Millwall (22nd), and Burnley (23rd).

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It seems as though it's inevitable that the United States will be paired with Italy in some way at the 2006 World Cup (as the two countries seem to be running into each other at every tournament they play recently). Though if they can turn up a result like the baby baby Yanks did today against their Italian counterparts, it might not be so bad.

The United States U-17s are 2-0-0 at their championships in Peru beating Italy today 3-1. I know absolutely nothing about this level of play, but I'll be a flag waving, chest bumping kind of guy and shout about it to the world anyhow. :)

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And in today's "feel the pain" story, Reuters has a pleasant link about Argentina and Manchester United defender Gabriel Heinze.

Be thankful because this link is a little further below the belt than the last couple.

Or, I guess you can just count the Tottenham link above as falling under the same category if you're not big on the squint factor.

You'll Have To Excuse Me, I'm Still Shellshocked From Speed

So I'm just going to pretend like this weekend in the English Premier League didn't actually happen. Seriously. I don't want to talk about the games themselves (or else I might put myself in the hospital with a popped blood vessel over the Manchester City match). Yes, tomorrow and Wednesday are the second round of the Carling Cup, so I'll just talk about that instead. :)

The bottom eight survivors of last year's Premiership drop into the tournament in this round (plus the three promoted sides).

The games to watch are:

- Barnsley at Burnley: A bottom dwelling team in the Colaship hosts the sixth place team from League One. This one could be the upset of the day.
- Luton at Reading: Could be a preview of the playoffs in the Colaship (of course I believe they haven't even played each other regular season).
- Cheltenham at Sunderland: A match against a mid-table League Two team could be just what's needed to get the Black Cats their first win of the year in any competition. If they lose, they might as well just forefeit their match in the FA Cup.
- Wolverhampton at Watford: Wolverhampton tries to prove they're the big boys and Watford's a fluke on the road.

Um, yeah, it's a pretty thin list unless you've got a vested interest in the match (goodness I hope Fulham doesn't lose at home to Lincoln City). The only Premiership team who can even be considered slight underdogs are West Brom who face Bradford City at home. Dean Windass may be using this match as a trial for a transfer to a Premiership team in need of offensive help. And poor defensively challenged Albion may serve as an opponent to showcase his skills against "Premiership" competition.

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Luckily there's plenty of other action around Europe. If you haven't looked at La Liga recently it's gotten really odd (this message was brought to you by the Console A Poor Real Madrid Fan Association). After three games of the season, the table has gone haywire. Using North American style record lines for Spain's Champions League participants, Barcelona is 1-1-1 (9th), Real Madrid is 1-2-0 (15th), Real Betis is 1-1-1 (12th), and Villarreal is 0-1-2 (19th). Getafe, Deportivo La Coruna, and Celta Vigo sit top of the table!

I think this weekend may have been the first time in years that both Real Madrid and Barcelona both lost on the same weekend!

It's gotten so strange and not-worldy in Spain that David Beckham was accused by an Espanyol player of slapping him during Real Madrid's weekend match.

Now, logic would say that if Sven were in the crowd, Beckham was just trying to prove that he was tough enough to be a defensive midfielder but as far as I know he wasn't. :)

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Congratulations to FC Dallas for finally winning at Pizza Hut Park yesterday. Nothing wakes a team up like threating to pour a little Real Salt in their wounds.

Speaking about MLS in a tangential form, does anyone else notice that the big buyout doesn't seem to be Mexican investors looking for a stake in the MLS, but Russians looking to purchase everything they see in the United Kingdom?

While it's worked wonders for Chelsea and Hearts (though their owner has Lithuanian citizenship, I'm pretty sure he was actually born in Russia proper - though at the time of his birth both countries were part of the U.S.S.R. of course).

Now they've come for Aston Villa. Or, well, the rumor mill is flying that a Russian consortium is looking to buy the Villans. The confirmed fact from the club is that they've been approached but it's in the very early stages of negotiation.

So, that means basically you can start coming up with witticisms now. Personally I like Villanov Park.

Villa's been holding out for some time from a number of buyers but Doug Ellis is about one cheeseburger from selling off the club away from his own volition and in the estate courts so this one may be the real deal.

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This afternoon was the FIFPro Awards. And, of course, no Americans were anywhere near the podium but the world's favorite role model was. :)





Which brings to mind something we do in the United States that the rest of the world should really adopt. Get rid of the Young Player of the Year Awards. I mean they're just silly. The same player can win the award for seemingly years even though there are players coming up behind them that may deserve some recognition.

There needs to be a Rookie of the Year Award pure and simple (or since "rookie" lacks the class that European awards like to put on things call it "first year player" of the year). It should be awarded to one player under 20 from the countries whose leagues are allowed to vote in the FIFPro awards if it is their first full season in any of said leagues.

And for pete's sake! If they're going to keep the Young Player of the Year Award, at least only give out one! I'm sorry but Christiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney shouldn't get young player awards from two different categories!

I'm just wondering how much advice poor Mr. Rooney had to put up with. I mean, the list of people who have come out in the press offering free conseling is just stupendous. Even David James got into the act over the weekend stating that Wayne Rooney needs professional help (but in the nicest way possible).

In the end though, where I think Rooney really needs help desperately isn't in his behavior but in the selection of his tie. Obviously he didn't call David Beckham for advice on that (though thankfully he didn't call Beckham for advice on how to slap an opponent either).

A Boring Entry Defending The "Boring" Premiership

Not in a very good mood today as far as the footcer world goes. I usually know so much better in fantasy footcer than to start who everyone else does. But, Jermaine Defoe just looked like such a good play today against Aston Villa. And when he stepped to the penalty spot in the first half of today's match, in theory, he could have made my week - instead he broke it.

But it doesn't stop with a missed penalty kick (though it wasn't like he pushed it over the crossbar, it was just stopped by Thomas Sorensen). Had it gone in, the goal by Robbie Keane in the second half would have matched my 2-1 Tottenham prediction. Instead I lost a point for the tie. My +1 this week on I Know The Score just doesn't match my +12 from last week (thank goodness Birmingham and Portsmouth forgot how to score after the 5th minute and matched my 1-1 scoreline exactly).

See how you're feeling right now? That is what a fit of boredom feels like. Boredom is not, as so many Premiership fans seem to be claiming right now, watching Chelsea.

Not that I'm going to defend Chelsea on this one. Over the course of a season one club being dominant, no matter which the team, is boring. But match to match, Chelsea is more interesting to watch - at least when they have the ball - than a lot of teams. Sure, the match isn't really in question when it starts, Chelsea will win. The question is how they'll win. Who will score that brilliant goal that makes the game 1-0?

I think people are forgetting the feeling of anger or disgust or thank goodness a relegation bound team behind us lost they had when Hernan Crespo scored the last second goal to beat Wigan back in week one.

Of course once that first goal is scored, the fans in the stadium or TV viewers may as well leave or turn off the TV and do other, more productive things. Though this year Chelsea does seem to be adding a second goal for a little more value. :)

Perhaps I'm just being contrarian against Arsene Wenger since it was his quote that brought the whole "is Chelsea boring?" debate to the surface. Wenger had the following to say:

"I’m very concerned. I feel the attraction of English football has always been positive but now the trend is to attack less. If this starts to get into the brain of football it will go downhill quickly."

Would I love to see every game in the Premiership end 3-2 or 4-3? Or course I would - I'm an American. :) And I agree with many of the e-mails linked above that the possibility of a barnburner or a nice 6-0 shellacking is what makes leagues like the Eredivisie and Colaship and La Liga (Gol TV has a brilliant, live, La Liga doubleheader with Villarreal playing at 10:00 a.m. U.S. central, followed by Real Madrid at noon) more exciting than the Premiership.

Personally, however, I watch the Premiership because it's the world's best defenders up against the world's best attackers (on aggregate). It's just unfortunate that a good defense will beat a good offense.

I'm just not going to show anyone I'm trying to convert to a footcer fan a Premiership game. :)

But it's hard for me to blame Chelsea for the boring when they've scored more goals this year than anyone! That being said, if I could wave a magic wand and ban the 4-5-1 from being used in England, you bet I would!

You Should Use A Cup For That

There are many kinds of cups in this world and usually I only talk about the silver kind that can be hoisted in the air. But, Ramblings Of A Soccer Junkie posted a story that I couldn't pass up involving a very different kind of cup. Warning, this link is about as nauseating as the story I once linked to about the Isaac Romo incident.

Now that everyone male has regained consciousness, I'm going to continue on with talk about the U.S. Open Cup and the UEFA Cup - though no less painful.

The first painful question is, how much is the English FA regretting not denying Everton as spot in the Champions League by sticking Liverpool in as the fourth team from the Premiership at this moment (as the Spanish FA did to set a precedent a few years back)?

Of course that decision wouldn't have made much difference in the Champions League as Everton didn't make much difference in the Champions League, but had Liverpool been knocked down to the UEFA Cup, it's pretty improbable they could have invited the shame on the entire league that Everton did in that competition today.

Everton should have known today just wasn't going to be their day when the first thing that happened on the fallback tournament of their European adventure was a bunch of their fans getting stranded at Liverpool John Lennon Airport.

Though besides Bucharest being a lovely city to visit in the autumn as the leaves begin to change - yes Footcer, your one stop source for Americanized EPL and eastern European travel coverage - they really didn't miss much.

Everton fell behind in the 27th minute to Dinamo Bucuresti but a goal by Joseph Yobo tied it up in the 30th. Now a goal by a defender can always be looked at two ways. Either you're so far superior that anyone can score in the match or you're so desperate that your front line players aren't producing that you need you backs to score. I didn't see the match (or hear it since it was a BBC and premiumtv.co.uk blackout) but it would seem from the Romanian onslaught that followed the second reason was probably more applicable.

The final scoreline read a depressing 1-5 loss for Everton. Their is a huge change from their usual Premiership scoreline of 0-1 this season. Perhaps there are a bunch of EPL managers on the line to Bucharest right now looking for advice on how to demolish the Evertonian defense. :)

Ordinarily after a crushing blow like that, the team would admit they were toast in the competition (or at least say, "we'll just have to win at home 5-0," as Celtic almost did in the Champions League though against lesser competition than a pretty solid Romanian side) and that they would concentrate on the Premiership, Carling, and FA Cups from now on. Though Everton is quickly seeing their Premiership dreams (even the dreams of staying up) sailing away.

Everton doesn't really seem to know how to right the ship (sorry had to put a couple of shipping references in for a Liverpool team) as evident by the following quote from manager (but for how long who knows) David Moyes, though I appreciate his candor:

"I'll look to make some changes and see if I can find a winning formula because, at the moment, we've not got one."

Well, he better find it quickly or the millions of fans waiting to call "fluke" (and that's just supporters of Liverpool) about their fourth place finish last season who are currently licking their chops are going to go into full attack mode and the knives brough out in response from Everton will be chopping Moyes free.

Folks, we've got our new front runner in the manager firing sweepstakes! ;)

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It was, however, a great day for eastern European teams in general in the competition as defending champions CSKA Moscow (who I swear got booted from the Champions League just to defend their title) won 3-1 over FC Midtjylland from Denmark. Krylia Sovetov also of Russia upset AZ Alkmaar of the Eredivisie 5-3 (though on Russian soil). Alkmaar currently sit on top of the Dutch top table with Feyenoord (who themselves could only tie one of the other Bucharest teams, Rapid, 1-1 at home) and RKC so this is huge.

Another Bucharest team, Steaua (I've been to Bucharest as I mentioned and I don't remember nearly that many stadia there to hold all of these teams) who fell from the Champions League, pummeled Valerenga 3-0 in Norway. Lokomotiv Moscow beat SK Brann 2-1.

Also, Dnipro of Ukraine held Hibs to a scoreless draw in Scotland. Slavia Prague beat Cork City of the Eircom League 2-0.

So, to be fair to Everton, they were just following a storyline. If you were from Great Britain or Ireland and you played an eastern European team, you didn't win. Well that's not entirely true since Bolton beat Bulgarian side Lokomotiv Plovdiv 2-1 but they fell behind 0-1 and it took an injury time goal from Jared Borgetti to get the victory!

There were 40 matches played today and I'm not going to cover all of them, but there were quite some interesting results if anyone wants to dig deeper.

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No, instead I'll switch gears and come back closer to home to spew my thoughts on the finals of the U.S. Open Cup between Los Angeles and FC Dallas. While I'd have loved to have seen both results turn out different yesterday (and Chicago v. Minnesota final would have been a no lose situation as it would have either been my Fire or a USL-1 team (which is always an interesting propostion) hoisting the cup), it's a good final.

Because it's two teams who seem to have chosen to focus on the Cup when the MLS title is beginning to seem out of reach.

Of course with the playoff system in MLS pretty much anyone can win the title despite how horrible the regular season turns out (but that's another can of worms - four playoff spots now!) but obviously these two teams realize that with their current form, this is the silverware they can hoist.

It's good to see the teams be less narrow minded than the league about the Cup. Everton could even learn from the pain of these two MLS teams and try not to get eliminated in the FA and Carling Cups in the first round they enter too. :)

Feeling In The Spirit Of Shockers

Being an outspoken proponent of corporate sponsorship of kits in MLS (which goes entirely against my ordinarily politics oddly enough), I'm probably the last person who should be mentioning this but even I have my limits. Did anyone else notice how ironic it is that a team named Universidad Catolica (which is a cognate and hopefully needs no translation from the Spanish) is sponsored by Cristal champagne?

There are a bunch of Real Salt Lake fans at least who should having some serious objections to that particular matchup of team and sponsor. :)

I have to say that I was actually pretty impressed with the way D.C. United played the Chilean side yesterday. The game honestly looked evenly matched for the majority of play and United seemed to have the upper hand at a lot more points than the 1-1 final scoreline would demonstrate - despite what the South American side's coach is babbling on about.

Certainly I agree that Catolica had a lot of great chances (Nick Rimando came up in a way that made MLS proud) but so did D.C. United. Perhaps Jorge Pellicer missed the fact that his team pretty much let Dema Kovalenko, of all players, get onto their goal from the left wing unimpeded five times in the first half. It's been said many times that the only thing separating MLS from many top tier leagues in the world (which, realistically, the top Chilean league isn't one of) is the finishing ability. Dema demonstrated that pretty well but it still felt to me like he was trying out for a stint in South America. :)

Chances are United are not going to fare well in the return leg in a couple of weeks but they still it's was a good showing. But I again find myself saying, if only New England was representing the United States in all of these competitions.

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A showing of a completely different kind, though it did have a flair for the dramatic, was Wayne Rooney's sending off in Spain in Manchester United's 0-0 draw with Villarreal in the Champions League.

There's a few funny aspects to this story. The first is that it happened in front of Sven Goran Eriksson who had to have a little internal giggle that Alex Ferguson can't control Rooney any better than he can. And the second is how the sending off happened.

Rooney, no stranger to any referee anywhere in the world of course, was given a yellow card for a hard tackle on Villarreal's captain. And, rather than just take it, he decided he was going to have a little bit of fun. Pretending to really agree with the referee's decision he started to applaud the ref.

Not taking the taunting lightly, the referee game him a second yellow for dissent (can someone who's plauditing something, even in jest, really be dissenting the same thing) which automatically sent him off.

Now I know I'm a little hard on Wayne Rooney on this blog but I actually have to give him some credit this time. His red card infraction was one of the most creative displays that I've seen from a player arguing a call in any sport. It's certainly more humorous than his usual three year old style tantrum.

So, were I Wayne Rooney, who might be having a good long spell on the bench for the Red Devils, I would usually use this to my advantage. He can use the time riding the pines to come up with newer and more interesting ways of getting sent off.

It can be like Clint Dempsey's goal celebrations but for red cards. Perhaps instead of swinging an imaginary baseball bat after scoring a goal in RFK, Rooney could pretend to smack the referee across the midsection with a cricket bat at Old Trafford (and if his swing is good enough perhaps Lancashire can give him a trial down the road at their Old Trafford with the free time he'll have).

Goodness knows Rooney can gets enough practice of "red card celebrations" to make him the best in the world. :)

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Arsenal nearly had a similarly shocking result at Highbury, beating FC Thun 2-1 on a last second Dennis Bergkamp goal. Now Villarreal is a much better team than Thun (despite their terrible start in La Liga) and being at home an Arsenal tie would have been a head rolling scenario.

But, see, it's a little unfair since Arsenal had something on their side that Manchester United didn't -- spirit!

Yes, that magical substance that was seemingly limited to high school cheerleaders has found itself into the Gunners' locker room. At least according to Arsene Wenger whose thoughts on the match were as follows:

"We could improve the passing and create more chances, but one positive thing of tonight was that the spirit was good until the last second."

Now, there's spirit and there's spirits and on this occasion, I think Wenger was under the influence of the second to make that quote.

See Sven, see Alex, all you need to pull out games where all seems lost is a little spirit. And, perhaps a little less Wayne Rooney. But he'll take care of that part himself.

Being A, Mostly, Good Boy In Talking Colaship

Tomorrow's the reveal for the new FIFA rankings and so I've got my plastic rain gear on preparing for the crap storm as the United States leapfrogs Mexico and into the top five in the world.

But, in the words of that sage Jose Mourinho on his team's adventures in this year's Champions League, "if they want to start with a clean sheet, I will do the same."

Of course, Mourinho can't entirely leave well enough alone as it's not in his nature and he added one of his classic quotes:

"So, if the competition is absolutely normal without anything strange, I would love that and I would love to be a good boy and to behave well. But if something strange happens, I have to do what I have to do...I don't look to people with bad eyes."

Some day Jose will perfect his English and look back in laughter at how silly he sounded back in the day. :)

Chelsea, of course, let their play do the talking in the end and came away with a win at Stamford Bridge over Belgium's Anderlecht 1-0. Though many people called the performance uninspired (at least it seems to be every source's headlines), they seem to have missed the fact that Chelsea wins 1-0 over pretty much everyone they face.

They could face a rec league team and win 1-0 or they could face Brazil and win 1-0.

Alright, so the first claim is a huge exaggeration but we won't get to find out about the second. Chelsea actually asked the world's #1 to play a friendly for their 100th anniversary and Brazil turned them down.

Chelsea should be a little embarrassed about that since Brazil agreed to play Sevilla for less than half of what Chelsea offered. Though Chelsea could play this the other direction and say that Brazil was just scared. Though Mourinho would probably find some way to make that sentiment sound sillly.

One thing Chelsea should be shocked at is how few people showed up in London for the match. Chelsea only drew a little above 20,000. Sure everyone in the capital was hung over from The Ashes win but when Leeds United outdraws you at the same time in an unattractive proposition of a mid-week game against Sheffield Wednesday (though to be fair Leeds United and Sheffield Wednesday is a derby) there might be issues.

That match actually saw something really interesting (besides Wednesday scoring a huge 1-0 upset on the road), an American man marking an American.

Eddie Lewis has been leading Leeds United on a tear in the Colaship but today he met his match, Frankie Simek.

Hearing the BBC commentary of the match this afternoon was just classic, "the two Americans going at it again...Lewis tries to go around his countryman and oh, Simek has been brilliant...Frankie Simek is a good prospect at only 20."

Ain't nothing to make players look better than a match against familiar competition (though I'm not even sure they've done training camp together). It almost felt like Bruce Arena was in the crowd in Leeds.

Elsewhere in the Colaship, Bobby Convey participated in the match of the day as Reading outdueled Crystal Palace 3-2 in festival town (as opposed to the town of today's festivities). Convey had a blank scoreline. However, forgotten Yank Abroad, DaMarcus Beasley more than made up for it with an assist on Jan Venegoor of Hesselink's goal in PSV's 1-0 win over Schalke 04 in the Champions League.

However, the bigger news out of the Reading/Palace match is that Andy Johnson got injured for Palace. But, luckily Palace recently acquired Clinton Morrison. Arsenal should watch and learn while its valuable to have a striker as good as your first (though in the Gunners' case, that's pretty difficult) as Thierry Henry's injury will now keep him out up to six weeks.

Suddenly Arsenal's passing up of Michael Owen is looking like a worse idea than it did at the time.

And, in the non-surprise of the day, Norwich found yet another way to lose falling behind to Watford 2-0 in the first 25 minutes and never quite clawing their way back (as Southampton did). Norwich after eight games now sit tied with Sheffield Wednesday in the highest spot in the relegation zone - and Wednesday has a game in hand. Milwall won today (their first win of the season) beating Wolves on the road so Norwich now sits two points above last.

Perhaps they were looking too far ahead as the first East Anglia derby of the season with their rivals Ipswich is this Sunday at Portman Road. Perhaps they're taking the Jose Mourinho tactic of looking way too far ahead. But Norwich is not Chelsea so it bit them in the behind.

Hammers Four: The Wrath Of Footcer

Thank goodness! "The cricket" is finally over and my main news Premiership news and rumor and silly manager's quote source BBC Radio Five Live can finally get back to covering a less inane sport full time. Well, they'll still of course have a bunch of blather on rugby but at least the rules in that make some sense.

Yes, I know I sound like one of those anti-footcer people here in the United States picking on cricket but in what other sport can a defensive team get hammered for 300 runs and it's called a great defensive stand? I mean, a bowler can get pounded for 50 by one batter, get one out and it's called a great performance?

It's like saying Aston Villa had a great moral victory today only getting beat by West Ham 0-4 because it seriously could have been much worse!

Looks like I seriously underestimated just how pissed off the Hammers were about "Green Street Hooligans." when I made fun of them in the entry, "West Ham Whining About The World's Spotlight." The Villans sure felt their wrath. I hope they let it all out now and have nothing left for the Fulham match on Saturday. With the Cottager's defense, today's game could have been 8-0! :(

West Ham could have loaned Blackburn and Bolton a few goals yesterday to actually made that an interesting game. I hope the Magpies enjoy their first win this weekend playing at the Northwest Pentitentiary All-Stars - that team has scoring issues! :)

The most shocking aspect of the West Ham victory, however, was who got the first hat trick of the Premiership season -- Marlon Harewood, West Ham's striker that's not a pensioner (yes, technically he has played for long enough to earn a footcer pension upon retirement, don't mix hairs with my age jokes)!

I guess with Thierry Henry out for up to a month the race for the first to three was wide open, but this is a man who hasn't scored a premiership goal in seven seasons! The last goal he scored in the top flight was for Nottingham Forest back when they were in the Premiership!

And, everyone's going to pick him up tomorrow in fantasy footcer. May they waste their money in peace! FC Footcer actually saw pain from this match on Yahoo.com since I dropped the scorer of West Ham's fourth goal, Yossi Benayoun when Michael Owen became available. FC Footcer on Premierleague.com, well we shant talk about that team as it's dead to me. :)

What a genuinely unpredicatable week in the Prem! Screw England beating Australia in sillyball, this was the upset of the day!

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But the anger was all around on this particular day. Before the spirit of international brotherhood that is the Champions League starts tomorrow, there was chaos all over the footcer world.

It's the usual eastern European suspects. In the news today, we have Croatia vowing to crack down on hooligans, police arresting 77 fans in post-match violence in Bulgaria, and Polish club fans rioting in the streets.

Reuters doesn't need an eastern European report, all they need to do is publish various police reports from around the region.

But, the story coming out that's really disheartening is one coming out of the Ivory Coast. Didier Drogba has vowed not to retire from international competition after his compatriots or "supporters" (in the loosest sense of the word) from the Ivory Coast threatened players after two weekend ago's loss to Cameroon that for all intents and purposes knocked the west African nation out of the World Cup.

Here's a man who chose to play for Ivory Coast when he was eligible to play for France and he's getting threats because they lost one game? And Drogba scored two goals in the game so he doesn't even deserve it. There are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed and threats against players are one of them.

It serves the Ivory Coast right if Drogba retires. The worst Chelsea fans are going to do is call him names in the press. Drogba doesn't need the Ivory Coast and until the fans down there understand that, they don't deserve to go to the World Cup.

Then again, I think he has more need to worry about West Ham than a lot of the countries the Ivory Coast plays - those guys have a huge chip on their shoulder!

Proving That I Still Watch MLS

I've been holding off on saying this for a while but I'm seriously coming to the conclusion that Pizza Hut Park is cursed. I think they should do some research on what used to be on the site in Frisco. Maybe it was the spot where someone planned to assassinate Pele and angered the footcer gods or something.

With tonights 1-2 loss to D.C. United, who are not exactly beating the world right now either, FC Dallas now stands at 0-3-2 in their new stadium. Mind you, it's not like they're faring much better on the road since they're winless in ten no matter where they lay their hats.

Perhaps they need a footcer shaman to come in and remedy the situation. But not, of course, before the Fire come to town for the U.S. Open Cup semi-final on Wednesday. ;)

The Fire for their part tuned up with a 4-1 demolition of the Milwaukee Wave in an outdoor friendly against an indoor team to build hype for the hopeful expansion team north of the border (and I don't mean Toronto).

Or perhaps the curse is just Carlos Ruiz (for those who don't believe in curses). He flew down to Guatemala even though he was suspended for the game against the United States and when he got back he apparently complained he was too tired to play. He's already expressed his wishes to get out of MLS at the conclusion of the season and that can't be good karma in the locker room.

I actually feel really bad for Colin Clarke since if he plays Ruiz, he's gotta be worried about him not giving 100% but we all see the results when he doesn't.

And that's the only time you're ever going to see me feeling bad for FC Dallas. :)

Though one silver lining came out of tonight - the game drew 15,263. Meanwhile a team going in the opposite direction again, the New England Revolution only drew 9,167.

Though those fans who did show up witnessed a well rested Taylor Twellman (who didn't seem to expend too much energy showing up about as much for the United States as Carlos Ruiz did for Guatemala, except Twellman was actually in the match) score a hat trick to take the MLS lead with 14 goals. How he can't translate this on the international stage, I'm dumbfounded to contemplate.

I'm kind of tired of hearing people who only follow the United States MNT thinking Twellman is overrated (and a bad goal finisher to boot). Anyone who missed the header on the first goal tonight or his break dancing for another might think that.

But the attendance story of the night has to be the San Jose Earthquakes. I think the fans finally realized that boycotting the stadium after the rumors about the team's eminent demise really wasn't helping their cause much. Tonight they drew an astonishing 22,311 (their highest attendance of the season in a game that wasn't against their cross state rivals by almost 7,000).

This was almost the first time this season that they outdrew Los Angeles (who missed a home sellout for only 7th time this season) with the Galaxy drawing 25,874.

Does anyone worry that the country's footcer attendance is just going to tip over as it seems to be a little west coast heavy?

West Ham Whining About The World's Spotlight

I try not to give away results because there are a couple of readers who wait to watch the matches of certain teams on Fox Soccer Channel when they're shown (amazingly when the match from Saturday shows on Tuesday). But since this game the live 11:00 a.m. (U.S. central time) match, I just can't wait to comment on it.

The question that arises after the Arsenal lost 1-2 to Middlesbrough on the road today is are the Gunners done?

Of course with two losses Arsenal is hardly going to be relegation rumor fodder but after their loss in the six pointer with Chelsea and today's loss in the northeast have the already lost touch with their London rivals (who I hope I'm not giving anything away by saying they beat Sunderland today) and for that matter Manchester United?

Everyone was worried about Thierry Henry missing (except for the dozens of people in the fantasy leagues I'm in that started him) and all worries were confirmed. Reyes had a ton of chances (seven) so it wasn't for lack of opportunities that Arsenal didn't score. But without their proven finisher this could be a very long stretch.

But it could be worse, they could be Everton.

---

Though it would appear as though West Ham is feeling better about themselves than Arsenal right now. How good is it to be a Hammer?

Apparently not good enough since they've found something to gripe about. Yesterday night in New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles, "Green Street Hooligans" opened up. And, for the first time, West Ham is a name that's on the lips of people in the United States (and eventually in the rest of the world that shows independent cinema).

They're going to sell a ton of jersey on the back of Elijah Wood. At least a lot more than Chelsea sold from Tara Reid. :)





But instead of getting behind the movie, West Ham United is complaining about how the club is being represented.

The problem seems to be that the club gave the producers of the film permission to film at Upton Park on the condition that "Green Street Hooligans" was going to be an anti-violence film. Now club officials are complaining that the film is too violent. They've even got the borough chief to complain along with them.

But here's where it gets really stupid! He's complaining that people might come to Green Street for "the wrong reasons."

What exactly are tourists going to do, look for hooligans that no longer really exist to pick fights?

The club officials have obviously never heard that "no publicity is bad publicity." They should just be happy that their little club (in terms of the rest of the world) is in the spotlight and stealing it from much larger clubs.

Now to be fair, those quotes are from the end of last month but I haven't seen any news stories about West Ham retracting the statements. Hopefully Fulham will give them something next weekend to really whine about!

The Blues, The Reds, And The Reds, Whites, And Blues

With the internation break ending tomorrow, the attention of the footcer world turns back to the domestic leagues. Which, of course, can only mean one thing - Chelsea's in trouble again.

Not that I feel any sympathy for the team with the golden wallet (of course is their any other kind) with the manager with the golden tongue but in this case, I think the FA is on a witch hunt.

Chelsea's big crime this time around? It has nothing to do with trying to illegally recruit another teams' players or manager or front office staff or the guy who sweeps up the stands after the matches. No, their crime was drug testing their own players -- OVER A YEAR AGO!

The reasoning the FA gives for not letting teams drug test their own players has some logic. The first reason is that they're afraid the teams won't report positive results to the league and the second is that most teams can not afford to drug test their own players and it gives the ones who can an unfair advantage.

I guess in some ways then, like everything else Chelsea, it does come down to money. And it does give Chelsea and unfair advantage in that they can send their players to rehab before the league catches them in a standardized drug test and suspends them.

But, come on, the whole idea of the rule is stupid. If the team can clean their own house and want to spend their own money doing so, why should they be in trouble with the league? Either way, the player's going to be out of commission for a while.

How's about the FA take the money that they're using to try to persecute Chelsea and give it to the have-nots in the Premiership (that's a little bit of a misnomer since all the teams in the Premiership have more than 95% of footcer clubs around the world) to administer their own tests too?

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On a lighter note, I make no secret of which side I'm on in the Manchester derby. But, there's a something-a-silly-a-brewing with my chosen horse in the battle.

Manchester City, ahead of tomorrow's blood match with the Red Devils has just ordered a fleet of new company cars. The stipulation? None of the cars the manufactured are sending are allowed to be red.

When I first read the story, I figured the whole thing was joke. But, it's serious. It's in the Guardian which, of course, is the paper of record politically for many people I know. If you can't trust The Guardian, who can you trust in the media? :)

Another aspect of tomorrow's matchup will be a sea of American flags in the visitor's end. It's not the usual celebration of Claudio Reyna, it's actually to make fun of Manchester United for having an owner from the United States.

So if you're waking up early to watch the match - which promises to be one of the most even Manchester City/Manchester United matches in years - Sam's Army hasn't invaded Old Trafford (but if they did, could they burn it to the ground on their way out?). It's just City supporters being some of the most creative in sports.

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Stopping the patting of myself on the back, it looks like the World Cup organizers have found a great way to get people in the United States to watch.

At least the draw.

German supermodel Heidi Klum will be the one pulling the cards out of the pots.

Now, if she's wearing a bikini or some lingerie, the average American football fan will watch it for sure. Though it's no guarantee they'll watch the actual World Cup.

That would just blow the 300 million viewer estimate up to 350 million viewers at least. I mean if people will pay to watch the linegerie bowl, FIFA could even charge for the draw if there's some chance of, you know...slippage.

FIFA should get on top of that (I'm trying to avoid the innuendoes, seriously I am) or they're missing a golden opportunity. And while they're at it, maybe they can find another way to fine Chelsea too. :)

UEFA Today Is A Humorless Place So Instead Here's A Bunch Of Stats

So, yeah, this is one of those situations where I make a big statement like, "but if England can't beat one of the worst teams in Europe that England won't do anything in the World Cup. Strip the favorites marker off them right now because they are t-o-a-s-t," and then when it occurs I have to backtrack a little.

I, like everyone else, expected absolutely nothing out of Northern Ireland today so when they won 1-0 today over an England team shaken to the core by a horrible formation, all my jokes just went right out the window. :)

But while still in a state of shock (and actually sadness because stupid France beat my second favorite team) I came up with this one...

Did anyone else notice that the scoreline was the same as in "Game Of Their Lives"? Well, it looks like we've lost the title as the greatest upset in England's history. Can't anyone in UEFA throw us here in CONCACAF a bone and let us keep some sort of title.

Alright, it was short notice. And my mind's been numbed tonight by watching "Varsity Blues" to get prepared for the American football season. :)

All around, it wasn't a great day for England. Wayne Rooney, who Sven decided it was simply a brilliant idea to play on the wide left in a 4-5-1 formation (even though it's doubtful Rooney has played midfield since he was an U-13), had the worst day of all. A fish out of water, he got really upset (as he tends to do anyhow) and actually cursed out David Beckham (caught on worldwide television) when the captain tried to calm him down. He also picked up a yellow card on a wild challenge and will be out when England entertain Austria in Manchester on October 8.

England should just count their lucky stars that many people (even within the English national boundaries) were watching Ireland play France.

The thing most people don't mention is that England could have almost gone into the World Cup through the back door today. That's how bad things went for England today. Sweden was being held to a 0-0 draw in Budapest all the way though the 92nd minute before Juventus striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic slammed home the winner for the Swedes.

Had Hungary (who by all reports were dominated as the Scandinavians couldn't finish) just held out, Sweden and England would be tied at 19 points. In that case, England would have had their destiny completely in their own hands. As it stands, the lucky loser 2nd spot stands at 20 with Croatia.

Someone on LiveJournal actually figured out the current 2nd place standings and they are as follows (this takes away the games against the current 7th place in the groups with the extra teams so if you see a 9, that means that team only has one game left that counts towards the lucky loser):

Poland--------9-24 *
Sweden--------8-21 *
1. Croatia----8-20
2. England----8-19
3. Czech Rep--8-18
Switzer.------8-16 *
4. France-----8-16
Serbia--------8-16 *
5. Russia-----9-16 (3)
6. Israel-----8-15 (3)
7. Spain------8-14
8. Turkey-----9-14
9. Slovakia---8-13
10. Norway----8-12
11. Greece----8-12 (3)
12. Slovenia--8-12 (3)

Note: * = current group leader; 3 = current third place

Currently England stands in the second spot and will still qualify automatically but it's obviously what would be the case with an England win (or even a draw). Poland should really be the ones kicking themselves over the Sweden last minute heroics since they actually would have clinched a World Cup spot had it not happened!

Offically.

It would be really odd for Poland to have clinched a spot as a guaranteed second before anyone in Europe besides Ukraine has clinched as a winner. Holland and Portugal actually had a chance to do so today but both failed. Holland only failed because the Czech Republic succeeded in beating Armenia 4-1 (just a fantasy heads up, Peter Cech didn't play today due to a minor injury so Chelsea may start Cudicini this weekend with all the implications that brings).

Portugal on the other hand flat out failed on their own. Russia showed the spirit of defense of the motherland that had everyone so scared for about 80 years holding Portugal 0-0 in Moscow. This was the case even though Russia went down to ten men for over a half after a bad challenge by Charlton's Alexei Smertin.

Boy those Ruskies really will fight to the last man. :)

There were lots of blown opportunities today so England should take some solace. All they need to do is look at teams that were upset that actually could have knocked themselves out of the World Cup being upended. The best example is Norway who lost 1-2 to Scotland in Oslo. The loss leaves them five points behind Norway, tied with Slovenia, and only two points ahead of a surging Scotland (Kenny Miller will not be playing for Wolverhampton in the Colaship for much longer if he keeps scoring international goals - all three of Scotland's goals in the two matches during this international break in fact).

Similarly a couple of ties could seriously tie the hands of Croatia (who handed, though not literally, Malta their second point of the entire campaign with a 1-1 draw) and Slovakia (who got the same scoreline at Latvia). Both could look at those two squandered points, especially in Croatia's case next month and realize they took themselves out of the competition on this very night.

They can look at Belgium (sorry I accidentally eliminated them last time I made the list) who took care of business at San Marino 8-0 and put themselves back in contention. Joining the list of the gone today, however, were: Finland, Georgia, Albania, Latvia, Cyprus, Moldova, Austria (leaving officially only Poland and England battling for first and second), and Hungary. Add them to the list of 15 already gone and they're now down to brass tack in UEFA.

So, buck up England supporter, you're not on that list nor will you ever be. The worst England can do is a playoff spot. Though their pride will never be fixed, that's for certain.

A Big Day In UEFA Tomorrow, Just Not In Belfast

A poster on bigsoccer.com who unfortunately wasn't me summed up the England way of justifying everything pretty succintly when after an England supporter started going off on how difficult England's group was (he would later deny that was what he meant by saying Poland and Austria are amazing teams), "talk about turning ********** cats into tigers."

That's the England mentality and I'm really sick of it. So, rather than let my righteous indignation get the best of me, I'll just post the second in my unwritten rules of footcer (the first is somewhere back in June):

UNWRITTEN FOOTCER RULE #2: "Any team that England plays will instantly be hyped as infinitely better than they actually are. Any team the United States plays will instantly be hyped as infinitely worse than they actually are (unless they're Scotland and then see clause #1)."

And David Beckham is the worst of the bunch saying, "nothing's unthinkable in football - sometimes these games go wrong." Please, yes we all know that Northern Ireland can pull an upset (and shouldn't be underestimated) because any team can. But if England can't beat one of the worst teams in Europe that England won't do anything in the World Cup. Strip the favorites marker off them right now because they are t-o-a-s-t.

Michael Owen similarly has come back at Wales manager John Toshack hard for stating that England is not one of the top teams in the world.

Toshack summed his feelings (he obviously kept going when the reporter said, "tell me how you really feel") with the following statement about England's inflated egos:

"They still have to prove they can be one of the top six in the world. Against 60% of the sides some of the things they did against us they will be OK with, but against the top four or five in the world they may just need a rethink."

But what really set the English media aflutter from across the hills (er mountains) was the fact that Toshack stated, flat out, that Poland is "the best team in group four and deserve their position in the table."

With that, he might as well have cussed out one of England's respective mothers. To dare say that England is inferior to any team, especially an eastern European one is a cardinal sin.

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So in this roundup of tomorrow's most important World Cup qualifiers, I am not even going to mention any from UEFA Group Six. You know why? Because there are only two real teams in UEFA Group Six and unless they're playing each other, the game shouldn't register on the footcer richter scale!

There are, however, some absoulte "big ones" taking place in UEFA tomorrow. But truly, there's only one match that should bring the footcer world to a dead standstill to actually care. Even the BBC realizes this because they knocked the Scotland and Wales games off the broadcast spectrum for it. Hence, of course, they're not real England fans. :)

The biggest match of World Cup Qualfying that's taken place in 2004 or 2005 is:

FRANCE AT IRELAND: Even before UEFA Group Four became a four team battle royale stalemate, the footcer punditocracy was circling the date of September 7 on their calendars. The brain trust of the footcer world figured it would be France in the driver's seat with Ireland needing the points to get second over Switzerland. Well, that was before the wheels fell off of the French machine (and that's not a reference to the debacle at the Formula One United States Grand Prix at Indianapolis a couple of months ago). The match truly is a winner take all in Dublin. If the two teams tie, they need only look behind them at the Swiss and the Israelis to realize they could both be eliminated. Israel actually plays a home and home with Faroe Islands in their last two matches (the first of which is tomorrow) and are next to guaranteed to finish on 18 points. France, Switzerland, and Ireland all play each other one more time. France and Ireland have the advantage of playing Cyprus once more over the Swiss, but the three teams could (and it wouldn't be surprising since this is the way Group Four has gone) draw each other out of the tournament. So, in these desperate times, France and Ireland are both going in with guns blazing tomorrow looking to get all three point at Landsdowne Road. France has much better guns (but they haven't really shown it scoring three goals against teams not named Faroe Islands) but Ireland has the home pitch advantage. Shay Given and Fabrien Barthez are both going to have their hands full. If they're lucky and the catch the bombardment being vollied at them. :) This game may, however, come down to injuries and with Djibril Cisse probably out for France and Damien Duff probably in for Ireland this could make the difference. Or it could come down to Roy Keane and Patrick Vieira getting into a huge fist fight at midfield (Vieira called out Keane wrestling style in pre-match interviews). It's that intense.

Sweden at Hungary: There are a couple of other important matches as well. The biggest match in this group is actually October 8th as second place Sweden take on first place Croatia in the Croatian capital of Zagreb. But without a victory over the Hungarians in Budapest first (assuming a Croatian win over bottom feeders Cyprus), that game may be meaningless.

Scotland at Norway: Another second place team, but this time at home, attempts to avoid a land mine (or perhaps a water mine if you're talking about what separates Scotland from Norway). Norway's got an easier run in (home against Moldova and then at Belarus) than first place Italy but they're still trying to hold off a Slovenian challenge from behind. Slovenia plays at Italy on October 8. Norway holds their destiny in their hands but can't drop points to a resurgant Scotland (who are that really annoying ghost still trying for second from way behind). A loss by Scotland means the Tartan Army can finally be put out of their annoying misery.

Turkey at Ukraine: The match that could actually still decide second place in UEFA Group Two. Ukraine showed a little bit of weakness against Georgia and Turks have been historically known to exploit weakness. A loss for Turkey (who lost to Ukraine 0-3 in Istambul on November 14, 2004) and Greece, playing at minnow Kazakhstan could leapfrog them. Denmark similary plays at home to Georgia and would pull within one point of Turkey with a win in Copenhagen and a Turkish loss. In short, this is a must win game for Turkey and it's uncertain what kind of lineup the Ukrainians will throw out now being the first team from UEFA to qualify so it's possible they can actually do it.

Serbia & Montenegro at Spain: This game between the top two teams in Group Seven (and not in the order you'd think if you'd been living away from footcer this cycle) just got a lot more interesting as Liverpool striker (at least sometimes) Fernando Morientes is out with a calf injury. Serbia can virtually clinch second place knocking off the favored Spaniards. Spain's coach Luis Aragones has created some expectations by stating Spain would win this match 3-1. Serbia has been intense defensively, holding opponents to 0, that's right 0, goals through seven games. When these teams met in Belgrade on March 30, 2005 it ended in a 0-0 draw. So to answer the question, it appears as though Serbia can shut down Spain - though I'm not thinking it will happen to Spain in Madrid. Something's got to give and it will probably be Serbia's defense rather than Spain's offense.

Portugal at Russia: I saved the second best for last. :) Earlier this qualifying campaign, the Russians made a little trip to Lisbon to play the opposite leg of this matchup. You can't start a land war in Russia but you can, it would seem, whoop on the Russians at the other end of the continent. Portugal won 7-1. So on paper this match doesn't look very appetizing. But Russia have turned things around since that match going 4-0-2 and now find themselves tied for second in Group Three with Slovakia (who they play away at Braitslava on October 12). The Slovaks play at Latvia tomorrow. Latvia is barely - BARELY - still alive so the little Baltic republic (leaving its golden generation) should put up a fight but the end result will probably be Slovakian victory there. Russia will be looking for revenge and World Cup redemption when Portugal tries to battle them at home.

Any of these matches should prove about eight times more enteraining that England v. Northern Ireland. You know, that great team that just won its first home match in four years on Saturday (and probably won't win another for quite some time).