UEFA Today Is A Humorless Place So Instead Here's A Bunch Of Stats

So, yeah, this is one of those situations where I make a big statement like, "but if England can't beat one of the worst teams in Europe that England won't do anything in the World Cup. Strip the favorites marker off them right now because they are t-o-a-s-t," and then when it occurs I have to backtrack a little.

I, like everyone else, expected absolutely nothing out of Northern Ireland today so when they won 1-0 today over an England team shaken to the core by a horrible formation, all my jokes just went right out the window. :)

But while still in a state of shock (and actually sadness because stupid France beat my second favorite team) I came up with this one...

Did anyone else notice that the scoreline was the same as in "Game Of Their Lives"? Well, it looks like we've lost the title as the greatest upset in England's history. Can't anyone in UEFA throw us here in CONCACAF a bone and let us keep some sort of title.

Alright, it was short notice. And my mind's been numbed tonight by watching "Varsity Blues" to get prepared for the American football season. :)

All around, it wasn't a great day for England. Wayne Rooney, who Sven decided it was simply a brilliant idea to play on the wide left in a 4-5-1 formation (even though it's doubtful Rooney has played midfield since he was an U-13), had the worst day of all. A fish out of water, he got really upset (as he tends to do anyhow) and actually cursed out David Beckham (caught on worldwide television) when the captain tried to calm him down. He also picked up a yellow card on a wild challenge and will be out when England entertain Austria in Manchester on October 8.

England should just count their lucky stars that many people (even within the English national boundaries) were watching Ireland play France.

The thing most people don't mention is that England could have almost gone into the World Cup through the back door today. That's how bad things went for England today. Sweden was being held to a 0-0 draw in Budapest all the way though the 92nd minute before Juventus striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic slammed home the winner for the Swedes.

Had Hungary (who by all reports were dominated as the Scandinavians couldn't finish) just held out, Sweden and England would be tied at 19 points. In that case, England would have had their destiny completely in their own hands. As it stands, the lucky loser 2nd spot stands at 20 with Croatia.

Someone on LiveJournal actually figured out the current 2nd place standings and they are as follows (this takes away the games against the current 7th place in the groups with the extra teams so if you see a 9, that means that team only has one game left that counts towards the lucky loser):

Poland--------9-24 *
Sweden--------8-21 *
1. Croatia----8-20
2. England----8-19
3. Czech Rep--8-18
Switzer.------8-16 *
4. France-----8-16
Serbia--------8-16 *
5. Russia-----9-16 (3)
6. Israel-----8-15 (3)
7. Spain------8-14
8. Turkey-----9-14
9. Slovakia---8-13
10. Norway----8-12
11. Greece----8-12 (3)
12. Slovenia--8-12 (3)

Note: * = current group leader; 3 = current third place

Currently England stands in the second spot and will still qualify automatically but it's obviously what would be the case with an England win (or even a draw). Poland should really be the ones kicking themselves over the Sweden last minute heroics since they actually would have clinched a World Cup spot had it not happened!

Offically.

It would be really odd for Poland to have clinched a spot as a guaranteed second before anyone in Europe besides Ukraine has clinched as a winner. Holland and Portugal actually had a chance to do so today but both failed. Holland only failed because the Czech Republic succeeded in beating Armenia 4-1 (just a fantasy heads up, Peter Cech didn't play today due to a minor injury so Chelsea may start Cudicini this weekend with all the implications that brings).

Portugal on the other hand flat out failed on their own. Russia showed the spirit of defense of the motherland that had everyone so scared for about 80 years holding Portugal 0-0 in Moscow. This was the case even though Russia went down to ten men for over a half after a bad challenge by Charlton's Alexei Smertin.

Boy those Ruskies really will fight to the last man. :)

There were lots of blown opportunities today so England should take some solace. All they need to do is look at teams that were upset that actually could have knocked themselves out of the World Cup being upended. The best example is Norway who lost 1-2 to Scotland in Oslo. The loss leaves them five points behind Norway, tied with Slovenia, and only two points ahead of a surging Scotland (Kenny Miller will not be playing for Wolverhampton in the Colaship for much longer if he keeps scoring international goals - all three of Scotland's goals in the two matches during this international break in fact).

Similarly a couple of ties could seriously tie the hands of Croatia (who handed, though not literally, Malta their second point of the entire campaign with a 1-1 draw) and Slovakia (who got the same scoreline at Latvia). Both could look at those two squandered points, especially in Croatia's case next month and realize they took themselves out of the competition on this very night.

They can look at Belgium (sorry I accidentally eliminated them last time I made the list) who took care of business at San Marino 8-0 and put themselves back in contention. Joining the list of the gone today, however, were: Finland, Georgia, Albania, Latvia, Cyprus, Moldova, Austria (leaving officially only Poland and England battling for first and second), and Hungary. Add them to the list of 15 already gone and they're now down to brass tack in UEFA.

So, buck up England supporter, you're not on that list nor will you ever be. The worst England can do is a playoff spot. Though their pride will never be fixed, that's for certain.