Aston Villa Is A Growed Up Big Boy Now

It's official. Michael Owen is now Newcastle United's second striker. Yeah, I know he's better than Alan Shearer but, come on, does anyone think Alan is going to play second fiddle to anyone? :)

This signing is just sad news. For one thing it's coming right before Fulham travels up to St. James Park. And just like with Milan Baros' transfer to Villa Park, I get the sneaking suspicion that he'll score in his first match for the barcodes.

It's also sad because I lose my jokes about how bad Newcastle is. While I don't think Owen will make them contenders for Europe (unless he scores 30 goals by himself since no one else Tyneside seems to be able to get one) or anything but he'll definitely take them out of the relegation zone.

So, um, Pompey you're it! Portsmouth is now the target of all my bad established clubs in trouble jokes. :)

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There's a much sillier signing in the world today - Fred. I mean, this guy is obviously good or Olympique Lyon wouldn't be signing him, but what self-respecting Brazilian takes the nickname Fred?

He's an up-and-coming striker in the Brazilian system but I guess all the good nicknames were taken. At least, the sportscasters and pundits won't butcher it like Juninho or Ronaldinho or even Juan.

It's a nice easy English sounding name. Of course he's playing in France so I don't think that's going to help much. :)

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In still more transfer news, is anyone else getting the impression that Aston Villa is a "big club"?

After Milan Baros decided he wanted to go and be a Villan, it's become almost the company line for new signees and transfers to refer to the Birmingham club as "big." The latest transfer, Wilfred Bouma formerly of PSV described Aston Villa in the following way:

"I had a good feeling about Villa -- with their history of being a big club."

Not to be conspiratorial, but I think all Aston Villa signees have a clause in their contract this season that they must try to recruit others by hyping how major a footcer team it is. It's like a pyramid scheme in the midlands. :)

The funny thing is that this "big club"'s manager David O'Leary is always complaining that he doesn't have the resources to compete with other "big clubs" like Chelsea and Manchester United. So if Aston Villa is a big club, I guess the others are super humungeouly gigantically large.

What I wonder, though, is if PSV actually has anyone still playing for them? I've lost count of this year's transfer. Sure they're always a farm team for bigger clubs but now it seems like Eindhoven is really a farm team - DaMarcus Beasley and a group of local Dutch farmers.

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Another team that no one's quite sure of who's on it is the United States men's national team which will play Mexico this weekend. Bruce Arena has made a point of keeping his lineup a secret (though he claims it's a media glitch).

Yeah, I had to use the Fox News link for that - it seemed fitting. :)

Go tell the world indeed. Just don't tell them exactly who's going to surprise them in the next World Cup.

Batten Down The Hatches For More Of Hurricane Owen

I interrupt this blog for an urgent news announcement...

Michael Owen did not play for Real Madrid yesterday!

I repeat...

Michael Owen did not play for Real Madrid yesterday!

Citizens of the entire universe are asked to stay indoors and don't consume any Spanish products for at least three weeks. Unless you're Canadian and then you are allowed to watch the friendly between Spain and Canada this week. But, please be cautious and wear a gas mask. The drubbing might make you feel sick anyhow. :)

Michael wasn't even selected for the 18 man squad by Vanderlei Luxemburgo. This has led to even more speculation that he'll be in England before the end of the day today - or at the very least by tomorrow.

Or dogs may start living with cats.

You may all now go back to your lives.

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A player not being named to the England squad for their qualifier at Wales on Saturday is David James.

Now this entirely understandable after the adventures he had in Daneland. But, what I question is who England named in his place - Chris Kirkland and Robert Green.

A colaship goalie (though to be fair he's been named a number of times) and the guy who has let in more goals (eight) than any other backstop in the Premiership. Then again, there are not a lot of choices. For example, Nigel Martyn of Everton is waving his hands like a little schoolgirl saying, "over here, over here, I'm interested in playing for England again!"

Nigel Martyn is still one of the better goalies in the EPL - but he's 39. Of course in goalie years that's 27, but still.

Cripes! If the United States called in a Colaship goalie and a 39 year old, we'd never hear the end of it from the Brits! :)

Oops, wait...nevermind. ;)

Marcus Hahnemann is awesome and Kasey Keller is only 36!

Not that any of the above mentioned goalies will start for England (especially the Americans) with Paul Robinson goalie until he decides otherwise.

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Should be a very tumultuous near two weeks on the international and transfer stage, that's for sure.

Still nothing's going to make the beginning of these long 12 days without the Premiership easier than a nice triple header on BBC Radio Five Live from the Colaship.

Even though it started with my alarm clock going off, I made it to work to hear the end of the Preston North End/Ipswich match.

That was more like it! Away at Portman Road, David Nugent (England U-21 internation) scored two goals (and apparently thought he was playing up the road for Blackburn instead of for Preston with a violent yellow and an uncalled red) in Preston's 4-0 win over Ipswich who sit near the top of the table.

And that was after selling their best striker, Richard Cresswell, to Leeds. The bad news is Wigan is looking to buy Nugent before the transfer window closes on Wednesday - not that it will help either them or David Nugent.

Ah, such is life in the soda leagues! :(

The other game of interest is Plymouth at Brighton. The winner may just very well survive or they might both go down to League One. It's only August but through a combined ten games, the two have one win between them. Milwall already lost to Luton (who regained first) 2-1 so at least that gives the two teams a little breathing room - from last.

Give Me A Red Card For Ranting

Chivas USA is the Gol TV of the MLS now. It seems as though it really excites the CONCACAF besides the United States contingent of the league with its new look. Of the five goals scored against Chivas USA since the introduction of their three new Mexican internationals, four have been scored by foreign players. Mind you, three of these was Amado Guavara's hat trick for the MetroStars, but Carlos Ruiz added one tonight for FC Dallas.

The one goal scored by a United States player? Ramon Nunez. I had to actually check to confirm that he was born in Dallas, TX.

I'm on the fence of how I feel about Chivas USA right now. If nothing else, they're finally living up to their promise of increasing attendance. Two weeks ago against the Revolution, Dallas drew 12,101. This week FC drew 14,102. Still not what they should be drawing at Pizza Hut Park but better than before (of course there haven't been that many games to analyze). New England drew 18,049 in Foxboro today which is simply great. It's great to see success breeding attendance at least one place (east coast derby or not).

One the downside, it was kind of nice to make fun of them as whipping boys. :(

My mind flashes ahead to next year if Chivas USA starts out strong with these three players and the rest of the league tries to play catchup. Will MLS finally think of rescinding the international caps and allowing CONCACAF players to not count against the three senior internationals?

It will be interesting to see if a true Mexican internationals v. the rest of CONCACAF internationals rivalry develops in our backyard. Of course United States players won't be on the sidelines by any means.

Sure it might seem a little bit reactionary but I'd love to see a "who will protect this house?" on a national level in MLS like it has been for the USMNT.

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Keeping on MLS a little, it's so sad that it appears as though the officials in the EPL this season attended a clinic sponsored by the MLS referees earlier this summer.

They're not handing out penalty kicks left and right or anything but they are handing out some of the worst red cards known to mankind. Thusfar, nearly half of the ejections they've handed out have been overturned. And the Mido red card in the Tottenham v. Chelsea match will probably join the list.

Martin Jol is not pleased at the card as it, as red cards tend to do, changed the nature of the match entirely. I'm not pleased because despite the fact that I shouldn't (who starts a striker against Chelsea's defense?) I started Mido as one of my two strikers on premierleague.com. :)

And, what I love about the salary cap league on the EPL's official site is that politics plays into it. Even if the Mido red card is suspended, they won't give you back the points, stating in the FAQs of play the following:

"A yellow/red card or goal scorer in an earlier game has been changed. Are you going to alter the points?

No, the decision at the final whistle is treated as final."

Way to protect crappy referees from fan's ire, Premiership!

But back to Jol. According to the Spurs manager, "the red card killed the game. I don't think he deserved it. If the striker is coming from the flanks, you try to protect yourself, you try to be brave. He was too enthusiastic."

What I really want to focus on, however is Jose Mourinho, amateur psychologist who stated his philosophy on red cards:

"As for Mido, maybe it was a red card but I think Mido is the right man to say if it was intentional, if he meant to hurt the player or not. It's something very private, very personal."

Um, well, sort of. I mean, yes the thought goes on inside of the culprit's mind, but at the same time it's played in front of thousands of fans, with betters and fantasy players and distance supporters of the team hanging on the decision. I think it's a little more public that Jose makes it out to be.

It was actually pretty surprising when today there was a double yellow on Phil Neville of Everton that, 1) he actually deserved as a reward for his four chippy fouls and 2) it's not appealable so there won't be any controversy.

The calls have been so bad that FIFA is getting involved, scolding the England FA last week. Unfortunately it's not for the calls in the first place that the EPL is in trouble with the world governing body for, it's the overturning (FIFA insists that players who are red carded must be suspended for the next match).

FIFA insists that their rules state: "appeals against red cards only in the case of mistaken identity."

So England is stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one (though this isn't new since England has been a target of the FA since they allowed appeals in the first place). The refereeing has been so bad that if they don't grant appeals, there's liable to be a player revolt. If they keep on, who knows what kind of FIFA sanctions England will be liable for.

Frankly, in my opinion, the whole nature of what's been red carded this year is the issue. England footcer is famous (and popular) for two things: its fast pace and its physical nature. Awarding red cards for clean but overly physical challenges (as two of the overturned red cards have been) is going to either scare players from making them or scare referees from calling actual red cardable offenses.

Either way the game is going to suffer.

Solutions? I don't have any. Just wanted to spit at the referees for decisions that personally cost me fantasy points. At least that's still a red card for sure with no dispute. :)

If You Can't Beat Them, Beat Them Up

There's a scene in "Shaolin Soccer" (which, by the way parting with general opinion I hated) where an opposing manager (of a corrupt team) has a wrench fall out of his shorts. He plays it off that he's a mechanic and it would be perfectly normal for this to happen but he swears his team will play clean.

I think that manager has about as much credibility as Mark Hughes of Blackburn when he promises that there will be reprocussions against Rovers players who play dirty.

Already fined by the league for last years shenanigans, the Northwest England Penitentiary All-Stars could be in trouble again for events that happened in their match against Tottenham yesterday.

Thusfar in the league through three games Blackburn has three goals to contrast with five yellow cards and two red cards (one of which was a double yellow, so statimatic that one however you choose) - three of which have gone to Robbie Savage.

But the strategy seems to work. I was talking to my friend Todd (the other big EPL fan in my office) today who's a Spurs fan and we got to talking about Tottenham's one shot on goal. He said, "they benches everyone important so of course they only got one shot." I said, "if you have the chance to get three points from Blackburn, which most teams will get, why wouldn't you take it?" His logic was flawless responding, "they've got Chelsea on the weekend and they want their side healthy - and Blackburn injures people."

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how true the words were. Other teams don't fear Blackburn's offensive fire power, they fear Blackburn's elbows and spikes (and even teeth). If it means that other teams will bench some of their stars and Blackburn can steal points then Hughes isn't going to do anything.

The only thing that will prevent Blackburn from being Blackburn is to take away points. Unless they get fined 500,000 pounds it doesn't mean more than one place's worth of money in the Premiership.

So Hughes can tell the media, "I don't go out and tell my players to get thrown out of games and get carded, that would be crazy," all he wants. But, it doesn't mean that he tells them straight away not to do it either.

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UEFA hates Real Madrid. Sure Liverpool fans are whining about drawing Chelsea in the group stage of the Champions League but Real Madrid has a much harder group as a whole.

The second fiddles to their one seed are Lyon - four time defending French champions Olympique Lyon. Knockout round survivors Lyon (though they eventually, thankfully, fell to PSV in the round of eight if memory serves). And the third seed are Olympiakos and what a pain in the posterior Greek sides can be. And that's just spelling their names. :) They even drew one of the strongest fourth seeds in Rosenborg.

The second toughest group stage seems to belong to AC Milan. They draw PSV (though this year's side is a shadow of its former self), dangerous German contender Schalke 04, and Turkish champion Fenerbache (and a trip to visit them is actually dangerous in a different way than footcer).

Dates for the Champions League group stage matches are preliminary but the first games out of the six are scheduled to begin on September 12 and 13.

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Much closer to home, congratulations Minnesota Thunder! The USL-1 side defeated the holders Kansas City in their quarterfinal match of the U.S. Open Cup. du nord has a great writeup of the match and an incident that happened afterwards (among the 5,000 fans that showed up). Just another reason why Kansas City needs to be the team moved and not San Jose.

The loss by the Wizards (and D.C. United losing to FC Dallas) means that the Chicago Fire are the only ones left with a chance at the domestic treble. Not that they'll do it, but I'm just sayin'. ;)

On All Leagues Great And Small

Alright, I know I said I wouldn't bring this up again, but come on, how much does Newcastle United suck? Seriously. Three games thusfar and not a single goal. Now, yes they're tied with Fulham on one point but at least Fulham's scored twice (though letting in six goals is more than a bit little worrisome). Today's Newcastle loss to Bolton seriously took the cake for the team that a baker wouldn't let into their shop.

In the 0-2 loss to Bolton, Newcastle managed to entirely stink up the pitch offensively. And this is a Bolton team who Aston Villa scored on twice in less than nine minutes!

I'm still thinking Michael Owen doesn't have enough of a Christ complex to walk into that though the Magpies have a huge offer (a record expenditure by Newcastle) on the table that's been accepted by Real Madrid.

Though, to be fair, Spurs - huh? High octane Tottenham? - only managed one shot on goal against Blackburn (and it was Andy Reid). Brad Friedel must have thought he was playing Montserrat (I had to look up a good example of a toothless team in CONCACAF and losing 0-20 to Bermuda definitely qualifies you for that). He had time to get his hair done - if he had any.

Not that today's EPL action proved boring. Chelsea and Arsenal played a couple of practice matches against league two teams and scored eight goals combined. Wait, that was Fulham and West Brom? Son of a...

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Don't forget to hug an Australian domestic footcer fan today. I'm sure they've been the bane of your life after the MLS Select Team's defeat but they're going to need some moral support.

They're restarting their top flight league down there and no one is sure that anyone is going to turn up.

There is one pretty sad aspect to the story - that they've decided to stop referring to the sport as soccer when it comes to the league. Now that doesn't leave us alone in the world (well when I'm not calling it footcer at least) but it's a major defection. :)

Here are some interesting similarities and differences to MLS:

- There will be playoff where the majority of the teams in the league make it (though they only have eight teams).
- Fox Sports is going to be the major broadcaster.
- They're allowing a team from New Zealand to enter the league.
- Australia has decided to market to youths and families in their advertising.
- Too many of the few fans they have in Australia will be busy watching the EPL durin the season.

It's kind of odd to be in a country that has a relatively established domestic league in comparison. Now this isn't Australia's first try at a league of course, but MLS wasn't our first try either.

I say we play the bigger footcer nation and wish them luck despite how much the Aussies like to insult all things American footcer.

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Speaking of MLS, it looks like there's hope for the San Jose Earthquakes after all. And it's coming from a really unusual source (well not too unusual since they've been kicking around the idea for a while) - Ajax Amsterdam.

It turns out Mr. Clean FC has made it publically known that they are interested in buying a minority stake in either San Jose or Kansas City along with a group of local investors (Soccer Silicon Valley a name pretty much known to all in San Jose's case). They already have a minor league affiliate in the PDL, but it's not doing great.

I only say it's odd because unlike an America or a Manchester United or a Real Madrid (three other teams whose names have been bandied around of purchasing MLS teams or expansion franchises), there just aren't that many Ajax fans in the United States to try and build a fanbase on name alone.

Of course Ajax's intentions aren't entirely pure. They want to kick the tires around a little bit before going all in the purchase an expansion franchise in Orlando - a Chivas USA type arrangement to develop talent. Still, if Soccer Silicon Valley's bid is accepted (with the financial backing of the Eredivisie club), San Jose's bacon could be saved!

But it's going to have to happen soon. The deadline that AEG set for announcing San Jose's future is -- TOMORROW (today by the time most people read this)!

Again, as I've been saying, best of luck northern California types. I really do hope you stick around in your current location. Well in a better stadium made just for you but you get the picture.

Gambling On Eastern Europe Champions League Success Is Not A Good Idea

Good thing I never put it in writing on here, that the MLS Select team could hold run of play close against Real Madrid (on bigsoccer.com it's another story entirely). I sure would be embarrassed to have said that out loud. :)

So instead I'll just mention another 5-0 loss by an entirely different team in the first round of the Carling Cup. I have a new favorite name in all of footcer. Dean Windass of Bradford City sure beats Nicky Butt. At least as far as silly names go. Apparently he used to play for 'Boro but it was before I was seriously following the Premiership so it's a brand new name for me.

Windass scored a hat trick in Bradford's 5-0 crushing of Rochdale (one of the many Manchester Area lower division teams).

The winds of ass were obviously blowing all over the Carling Cup as seven, count them an unlucky seven, Colaship sides were eliminated: Brighton, Crewe (who lost 1-5 to Lincoln friggin' City), Hull, QPR (ha! ha!), and Stoke all went down. Of course so did Preston so I guess I shouldn't be laughing at the Notting Hill Nobodies.

No one pulled a bigger upset though than Yeovil. It hasn't been a pretty start for one of my regular reader's second teams in Division One but they knocked off Ipswich (one of last year's Colaship playoff teams) quite handily today.

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On Thursday, the day before the UEFA Supercup between Liverpool and CSKA Moscow (Roman Abramovich's first team before he also bought Chelsea), the group pairings of the Champions League is being announced in Monaco.

The funny thing is, FC Monaco will not be there to hear the announcement. Well, the team might be there but they'll be waiting a long time to hear their name drawn from the pots as they were eliminated today by Real Betis - losing in the same stadium where Liverpool and CSKA will be meeting (aka "at home").

Liverpool also lost at home but had built up a big enough lead where they're advancing anyhow.

The other Champions League outs were mostly Eastern European - Lokomotiv Moscow, Wisla Krakow, Partizan Belgrade, and Steaua Bucharest were all shown the door (or the hole in the floor as the case may be). Shakhtar Donetsk and Slavia Prague should give up hope now!

And well Debrecen never had much hope to begin with. But before they bid their curtain call, I just want to write how to pronounce their name (not that anyone in the English speaking media will ever get it right) - it's DE-BRET-SEN. I've heard it said every way but the correct one. You'd think that at least the BBC would ask a Hungarian how to say the name of the city!

Unless they find some way to convince everyone they're Western European teams and fast!

Advancing however at Partizan's expense was the little Eastern European train that could that eliminated Celtic - Armedia Bratislava. There wasn't much choice but for one Eastern European team to make the group stages though. Both teams in that game match that description.

Thun also advanced in a romp. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our shockers.

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There is one good bit of news for an Eastern European as Milan Baros finally escaped the striker logjam at Liverpool for a much safer spot at Aston Villa today. Everyone start salavating that this frees up a spot for Michael Owen at Anfield in 3...2...1...

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Then again, maybe the whole Curse of the East is karma of some sort. Today Latvia's mens national team captain admitted that the Baltic republic's side was offered bribes to throw last week's WCQ against Russia.

It ended 1-1 so obviously there's not as huge a scandal brewing as there could be. The fact that there's corruption in the federations of the former Soviet bloc isn't news and since their leagues are not exactly in media sunshine, rich gamblers and organized crime types can get away with a lot. Stay tuned for what FIFA ends up doing in this case. Slovakia may end up advancing to the World Cup UEFA playoffs (just like their Champions League representative) even if they finish behind Russia.

Just think, a few days ago the biggest footcer gambling news was that the Portugese Premiership is now being sponsored by betandwin.com.

Somehow it was much less disheartening that way.

The Things These Minnows Will Resort To

Just to start off by capping off last weekend, I entirely forgot to mention that the first of the 78 times Celtic and Rangers play this season occured on Saturday. Rangers won 3-1 with a brilliant double damage role.

Then I knocked over the Dungeon Master's shield in a fit of rage. :)

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And now on to games that actually matter outside of Scotland, Northern Ireland, and Ireland that are happening throughout this busy week.

Tomorrow the Champions League starts up again with the aggregate winners advancing to the tournament proper (I've never understood why this part is just qualifying but there's a lot of things I don't understand). The storylines of this two days of fun have been gone over ad nauseum (but yes Everton is toast). But there is one story I think I touched on that I want to revisit.

Last April, Jermaine Pennant then sort of a Birmingham City player (on loan from Arsenal) and now completely Birmingham City player became the first person in the history of the Premiership to play under police custody (being forced to wear an electronic tracking device during the Brummies match against Tottenham.

Well in that case he fit right in since half the fans of Birmingham City have to also wear police issued ankle bracelets as well. He was just one of the masses. :)

A similar event is occurring in the Champions League as Ardian Gashi of Valerenga (from Norway) is being released from police custody (also on a driving charge though speeding in this case and not drunk driving) to play against Belgium side Club Bruges. It's similar to the Pennant incident in that he's being released four days early after serving nearly his complete jail time. Is someone in the prosecutor's office a Valernga fan? The world may never know.

Gashi won't have to wear an ankle bracelet. Unless he really wants to. I mean some players might want to wear them for good luck or something. ;)

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On a much sadder and more important note, Rangers match against Anorthosis Famagusta has a footnote of importance. Famagusta's captain Niko Nikolaou lost four members of his family in the tragic plain crash in Athens last week.

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Anyway, back to the goofy and funny. Borussia Dortmund became the second big club casualty in the club cups around Europe losing to Eintracht Braunschweig (a third division team) in the first round of the Germany Cup 1-2.

Alright, who put those stories next to each other? Swear to fate, I'll have their head on a platter? Oh yeah, it was me. Um, never mind.

So, back to the story. This match was actually marked by a giant power outage that left the eventual winner's home grounds dark for 13 minutes. What the other news sources won't tell you (because, well, they take more pride in reporting the truth) is that during said outage, the home team snuck in Bayern Munich and switched kits with them.

Oh, those sneaky third division German sides, is there nothing they won't try?

Cologne (or Koln as they're known in the league, but with those two little funky dots) were actually the first big team knocked out as they lost to Kickers Offenbach 1-3. What I want to know about this match is who let the USL Board of Directors decide the names of lower division Germany teams? Seriously, it's not a good idea.

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Which brings me to the last story. The Carling Cup starts tomorrow. Well, technically it started today as Southampton beat Southend 3-0,

The bigger news about the Saints is that according to Yahoo, they applied for additional uranium concessions in Niger. Now that's one hades of a transfer. Didn't we go to war over something like that? I mean is there nothing these Colaship sides won't do for a little advantage?

Oh wait, nevermind that's Southampton Ventures, Inc.

Anyway, there are some fascinating matchups in the first round of the Carling Cup tomorrow. Here are the highlights:

o Yeovil at Ipswich - if you've been paying attention you know why. ;)
o Luton at Leyton Orient - the high flying Colaship newbies play the last team to lose in the lower league (any of them).
o Swansea at Reading - a Colaship duel. Reading should demolish the Welsh side but anything's possible at this stage of the competition.

And 26 others all for the low price of you're not going to see them anywhere since, HELLO, there are Champion League matches going on. :)

A Great Day For England-Based Yanks And Butt Jokes

Now I know I woke up pretty early to watch Aston Villa play Manchester United this morning, but I don't think I'm halucinating.

Still, it feels as though I must be since ESPN the Magazine has now run footcer related stories two issues in a row! On the front cover of the August 29 issue is the sub-headline, "Peace on a Mideast Pitch." While it's not the actual cover story like David Beckham was last issue, there's a five page story on the lone Muslim member of the Israeli men's national team.

It's a human interest story to be sure, but it beats nothing.

This was also the issue that the feedback came in from the Beckham story. The letters that ESPN the Magazine chose to run two negative letters and a letter from a Beckham fangirl. However, they chose to run the letters as the lead story in The Post. One quote they pulled simply said the following:

"News flash, America doesn't care about soccer." - David Suart of Phoenix, AZ.

I'd like to flash his news. There is a growing portion of the population that does care about footcer and ESPN the Magazine is realizing that through the feedback they receive.

Still, it was as if ESPN was trying to say to the footcer crowd, "sorry guys, this is the reaction we get, better luck next time." I'd just like to say to the editors (of course they don't read this), "buck up little campers the time will come in about five years when you'll be selling magazines because of footcer and not in spite of it."

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Maybe I'm being optimistic but I think I have the right to be today because it was a huge day for Americans in England today.

Leading the way in the Colaship were midfielder Bobby Convey and goalie Marcus Hahnemann in a 5-0 thrashing of bottom dwelling Millwall by their Reading team. Convey had the first two goals of the match before being pulled in the 57th minute.

Add this to his performance against Preston North End with an assist on the first Reading goal and he's putting together quite a season (as is Hahnemann who is averaging 0.50 goals against a match with three clean sheets). Reading sits in first place in the entire Colaship with a 3-1-0 record and a +9 goal differential.

So if anyone else is looking for a Colaship team to follow, don't say I never gave you anything. :)

Myself I'm sticking with Preston North End even though they lost 1-2 to Sheffield United today and are wallowing in 18th place just ahead of perennial losers like Brighton, Cardiff City, and Millwall on four points in four matches.

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But the United State success doesn't end with Convey. Eddie Lewis scored his first goal for Leeds United (which proved to be the game winner) in a 2-0 win over Wolverhampton. This win actually snapped a 21-game unbeaten streak by Wolves and knocked them off the league's pedestal (making room for Reading) and vaulted Leeds into 5th.

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In the Premiership, similar good tidings were had by the Yanks. USMNT captain Claudio Reyna didn't score for Manchester City but his team did win 2-1 at Birmingham City.

I hate the other City but the match was fascinating to watch if only because any match involving Nicky Butt is fun (hence why he's on my fantasy team). The classic line from the commentary today was, "Butt has a minor groin injury, that's why he came out."

How can English presenters keep a straight face? :)

David James (not an American and neither is Nicky Butt) managed to keep it together and Butt's goal (yes, Butt was the one who knocked it into the crease) wasn't really his fault.

One other point of silliness happened in this match when Claudio Reyna was subbed out. The midfielder subbed in for him in the 72nd minutes was Sun Jihai of China. Look at that. Now there's even outsourcing in the world of footcer replacing American goods with Chinese. :)

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Meanwhile, Blackburn goalie (and former United States national team member) Brad Friedel nearly pulled off a clean sheet against Fulham (look at me putting a positive spin on my favorite team losing).

But who broke it up?

None other than Arlington Heights, IL native Brian McBride. :)

About the only United States citizen who had an awful day today was Carlos Bocanegra who wasn't even selected for Chris Coleman's bench for the Cottagers. But, I'm sure with Convey and Lewis doing well in the Colaship this year, some second division team looking for a central defender will give Boca a nod.

Now if it's Reading, I'll have to become a fan since no team in any English division has ever had three Americans on a roster at once to the best of my knowledge and, well, they would then deserve it. :)

Rays Of Hope Everywhere In The Footcer World

Spoony, despite the fact that I sometimes can't understand his Cockney accent, on Wednesday night's 606 program on BBC Radio Five live brought up a fascinating point about friendlies. Responding to the fact that callers were saying that friendlies were meaningless and that England should play less of him, he calmly said, "do you know who played the most friendlies in the world since the last World Cup? Brazil."

But that's a team that does nothing right so this fact should be entirely discounted. :)

Brazil plays friendlies to the point that they're done playing friendlies against other countries (which, to be honest, have just gotten too easy for them) and are now playing them against club teams. Of course they're not the first and won't be the last international team to do so. But they've got a match scheduled against Sevilla of La Liga on September 16 to celebrate the Spanish side's 100th anniversary.

Sure this match is probably going to be a blowout but the home team will get a little boost from signing Tottenham's Frederic Kanoute.

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In other news of an not-enemy sort, England has "agreed" to play Argentina in November.

Agreed is in quotation marks because Argentina has agreed to it but England has only said they'll go through with it on one condition - that they've already qualified for the World Cup when it happens. If they slip up and Poland get the automatic bid out of UEFA Group 6, then the whole thing is off.

Argentina will instead play another UEFA team and England will chose a team from closer to home to hold the friendly with.

Though to call any match between England and Argentina a friendly is a severe misnomer. I can't believe that Switzerland, being a neutral country, has agreed to host it. After all, they make it a point to stay out of wars. :)

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There's so much footcer this weekend that it would be easy to ignore the Champions League starting up again on Tuesday but Reuters ran a fascinating story on FC Thun that should make all MLS fans take heart.

Thun from the Swiss League, as previously mentioned here, pulled the shocker of the entire Champions League tournament thusfar by beating Dynamo Kiev in the 2nd qualifying round. And they pulled another shocker beating Malmo in their away leg in the 3rd qualifying round 1-0.

Well, one thing that I didn't know about Thun (well, the things that I didn't know about Thun could fill a small encyclopedia since prior to the draw against Dynamo Kiev I had never heard of them) is that their player budget is approximately 4.4 million U.S. dollars a year!

Yes, that's right. 4.4 million dollars a year can buy you a team with the quality to make the Champions League official if you play it right. Sure that's still twice the MLS cap but it's proof that a quality team doesn't have to be filled with multi-million dollar players.

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Speaking of MLS (but not mentioning the Fire getting embarrassed by Kansas City tonight), Fox Soccer Channel deserves a medal for their coverage. Not only are they showing the MLS Select Team's match against Real Madrid live but they're bringing sister station's Sky Sports Fan Zone to MLS!

For those who haven't seen this amazing spectacle, it's a work of art. The network flies a fan of each team of a featured match to the match site. The two fans actually then call the entire match with no help from the "experts". Mistakes are made, jokes are cracked, fist fights wait to happen.

This is going to be...the...best...set...of...MLS...broadcasts...ever!

Now all that's missing is Fox Soccer Channel dubbing Diego Maradonna's Argentine television show into English and broadcasting it weekly and the channel will be complete (though they still need to buy the United States rights to the Colaship).

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Finally, here are the said Colaship's matchups of the weekend (bah humbug Chelsea/Arsenal):

Plymouth at Crystal Palace: this match will show once and for all if Crystal Palace are as screwed as they look (if they're the new Nottingham Forest). If they lose at home to a real Colaship bottom dweller, they should start making plans to play Scunthorpe and Swindon next year. Not that I'm guaranteeing those two sides will be in League One, I just like saying their names. :)

Wolverhampton at Leeds United: there's a lot of talk being made about the two battles in the Premiership this weekend that are potential 5 v. 6 end of seasoners (Tottenham v. Middlesbrough and Everton v. Bolton). Well there's a third one out there and it should be spectacular.

Norwich at Southampton: both of this big budget teams (for the Colaship at least) need to get their act together and quickly. Norwich just dipped into the transfer market bringing Clinton Morrison over from Birmingham City - something which if they had done it last year might have kept them up. Southampton, well, they shouldn't be looking forward to any south coast derbies with Pompey any time soon. Wait, I take that back. They shouldn't be looking forward to any south coast derbies with Portsmouth in the Premiership. The two should be locking horns in the Colaship for years to come. ;)

There's Nothing Rotten In Denmark

I always love an England loss if for no other reason than there is no group of fickler fans on the Earth. Before England got handed a 1-4 loss to Denmark in Copenhagen, everyone was talking about how this team could win the World Cup. Now, the reaction is that there needs to be a reshuffle of the highest order and that no one in the starting XI for England cares about the team.

The majority of English boast that friendlies don't matter but give them one loss in a non-tournament sanctioned match and suddenly the sky is falling.

Most of the blame is falling on Manchester City keeper David James. If there were still the carrying of heads through streets on pikes, he'd be a prime candidate. But from the commentary, it would appear that only one of the goals was directly his fault.

Though I think he banged his own nails into his England coffin with the following brilliant quote:

"Because I knew I wasn't going to start, for once I didn't do my starting preparations. You should prepare to play. The watchwords are practice, practice, practice. For once I didn't adhere to that and everyone saw the result."

There are a lot of people coming to James' defense including the opposition keeper Thomas Sorensen of Aston Villa, and his manager at Manchester City Stuart Pearce.

---

What I want to really rant about, however, in the match is actually the fan's reaction. Everyone is blaming an England collapse but no one is crediting the fact that Denmark is actually a good team!

The latest FIFA rankings (surprisingly uncontroversial since everyone seems to have burned themselves out after the July tally) have them at #18 in the world.

Beyond the constantly in question list, person for person the Danes match up with any team in Europe. This is especially the case with the scariest, if not best, defensive midfielder in Europe Thomas Gravesen. Practically their entire team plays in England, Spain, or Germany and of those who don't, the remainder are all concentrated at Brondby and FC Copenhagen. In short, they've got a dangerous formula.

They probably won't make the World Cup being in UEFA Group One (it would take a small miracle to leapfrog both Turkey and Greece). Though their run-in leaves their World Cup fate completely in their own hands. Their remaining matches are: 9/3/05 @ Turkey, 9/7/05 Georgia, 10/8/05 Greece, 10/12/05 @ Kazakhstan.

So it's the two bottom dwellers and the two teams they need to beat. Even if they don't make the World Cup, they're a team to watch for Euro 2008.

---

There were two other major events in yesterday's World Cup qualifying. The first was that Jared Borgetti (now of Bolton and that still sounds nice to say) is now Mexico's all-time leading goal scorer.

Also, Uzbekistan shocked Kuwait 3-2 to clinch a spot in the AFC playoffs against Bahrain and eliminate Kuwait from World Cup qualifying.

Kuwait, unlike Denmark, will not do anything in Euro 2008 barring a shocking merger between the two confederations. :)

Holy Minnows Ball Man, It's An International Eve

Well, well. It looks like England's got a little issue on their hands with Alan Smith. Not that he chose to play in a Manchester United reserve match today as opposed to the Denmark friendly on Wednesday, but how the FA is handling the whole thing.

On one side of the fence, you've got Sven-Goran Eriksson saying that he's really sorry to Alan Smith for a terrible misunderstanding. You see, he miscounted the amount of matches he had played and so he called him up saying:

"I think it's my fault that I didn't communicate what happened to more people. It was also a little bit my fault as I didn't check how many games he had played."

But, here's the question. Did he play too many or too few games to be match fit? I mean if he played too many, what's he doing in the Manchester United reserves games and if he's played too few, what's the harm in getting some match fitness in a friendly?

Meanwhile, the chief executive of the FA, Brian Barwick, has taken a much harder line saying that Alan Smith's international career is now over after the snub.

Who's in control here?

And to think, Sven is the Swede in the whole equation. He's acting pretty American movie-ized English in that he's being overly apologetic (anyone who's seen Michael Palin's role in "National Lampoon's European Vacation" knows what I mean). Perhaps he really needs to be made England coach through 2008 because he's definitely learning some stereotypical aspects of the culture.

Although I heard an interview today where when the BBC presenter asked him if it was weird to coach through Euro 2008 and then have someone follow him with such little prep to the 2010 World Cup, he said, "fine then, I will just have to coach through 2010."

Aw heck. England should just name him coach until 2018 when they're bidding to host the World Cup.

Or maybe just make him coach for life. Naw, that's too Italian sounding. :)

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Speaking of Italy, the Keystone Cop League that is Serie A may finally be starting up as the whole Genoa match fixing scandal has reached its conclusion with that side being demoted to Serie C (or whatever they call their third division in Italy) or maybe it was another one due to financial difficulty.

Sure the report was in English translated from Italian but it all felt like Greek to me. :)

In the end, Ascoli and Treviso, were promoted from Serie B. I think, and this is where it get really confusing, another club was actually supposed to be promoted but they're having money trouble.

The whole sordid affair is spelled out in the above link. I threw my hands up weeks ago. The fixture list should be out for Italy some time before 2007. Or when they leaders of the Italian federation are done lounging in a cafe in Venice and decide to get to work on it. Whichever comes first.

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Tomorrow is an international day, so I'm told. But, searching through the fixtures, I couldn't find more than a couple that actually matter so none of my usual schtick about all the games with meaning - but there are a couple.

Sadly, Fox Soccer Channel, that bastion of meaningless UEFA qualifying matches actually has the one that means the most in Europe as Russia take on Latvia. The Russians, currently in third in Group 3 on 14 points can pull even with Slovakia (though will still be far behind in goal differential) by making up this game in hand.

Latvia, otherwise known as the old folks home in the Baltics (they had the oldest squad in Euro 2004 and it ain't getting any younger), should they lose are toast. A win will leapfrog them over Russia but leave Slovakia (who should have a pretty easy time of it tomorrow at Liechtenstein - not really a nation state but a nation state of mind) and group leaders Portugal still ahead (the latter with a game in hand) to crush the poor little country's dreams. Though anything is possible in this group of Portugal and the Portugettes. And since Latvia still has games left against both Portugal (away on October 12) and Slovakia (home on September 7).

Besides that, we get to see who's the crappiest minnow in Europe in the quadrannual - MINNOWPALOOZA!

Yes, if you've got some sort of telepathy, you can see the Faroe Islands play Cyprus and, don't get out of your seats yet because it gets better -- you can also see Georgia travel to Kazakhstan!

Does the fun ever start? :)

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There are four matches in Asia and that horrible region has assigned four of it's 4.5 spots already. Still one of the matches actually matters.

Kuwait travels to Uzbekistan. If the Uzebeks win, they face Bahrain for the right to face the fourth place team in CONCACAF for a real live spot in the World Cup. In the even of a draw, Kuwait makes the much shorter trip across the Arabian desert to face their emiratish "neighbors" still for the right to face the fourth place team in CONCACAF for a real live spot in the World Cup.

At least Asia's going to be over after this! I don't think I can take the pain of it anymore!

---

Finally close to home, there are the CONCACAF games. They'll be entertaining but the games with Mexico and the United States involved are meaningless if the favorites win.

Panama at Guatemala does mean a lot. If Guatemala can hold at home and Costa Rica loses, both of the central American countries will be on 7 points with four matches to go. If Panama wins, well the whole thing gets more muddled.

One thing to watch is Costa Rica in Mexico City. They are the only team to win at El Azteca against Mexico - EVER. While it's doubtful they can do it again, there's always hope.

There's hope that there will be some more exciting matches to decide 3rd and 4th come September. :)

Opening Silly Manager Salvos In The Prem

I have to admit that now that Manchester City has turned themselves away from trying to poach Fulham's players, the sharks of the EPL (sure Chelsea does it more and with bigger players, but City does it more interestingly) are actually quite entertaining - and not just because they're my second favorite team.

They actually got the manager of Bolton, Sam Allardyce, near the verge of tears with their talking to Wanderers midfielder (and one likeable member of the Greek national team) Stelios hours before yesterday's premier league opener against Aston Villa. This is the classic quote of the whole story:

"Why did they do that on the opening day of the new season? Clearly it was done that way just to upset my player."

Here's the thing though. Stelios didn't start, he didn't even play (I know this especially because he's on my Yahoo fantasy team - or was) against the Villans in their 2-2 draw. If it was done to upset Stelios (who might have been crying on the bench, I didn't actually see the match), it didn't really effect Bolton. He could have been wearing an Manchester City kit already and it wouldn't have mattered.

That match itself was an interesting affair where all four goals were scored in the first 10 minutes. I swore it was ESPN testing out their system until I verified it on BBC.

But, back to the subject at hand. If Allardyce is looking for sympathy from the press or other teams in the Premiership over a one million pound player, he's never going to find it. After all, there were 13 other teams, Manchester City included, who would gladly trade him this pain he's feeling for Bolton's UEFA Cup spot.

He need to just chill like Jose Mourinho.

Yeah, I know, chill and the Chelsea manager aren't usually mentioned in the same sentence but in this case it's applicable. Mourinho took in a movie with his children last week because he felt he had prepared for the Wigan match (going on right now on Pay Per View) enough.

"When I leave the training ground I don't think football for one more second. I have my decisions made, the training session is organised and I know what team I am going to play. I studied Wigan enough and I rest until the game. I go home and I don't think about football."

Goodness that man is either really smooth. Either that or he's secretly hiding the fact that he's a lazy hippie behind his millions of dollars of players. :)

---

Thank you to Joseph Yobo of Everton for proving that even world class players can make horrible mistakes.

The center back made a "clearance" straight across the goal box. Wayne Rooney of Manchester United, since he wasn't busy mugging the other player, intercepted the pass and gently tapped in what the Sky Sports commentator called, "the easiest goal of the season." Later on it was expanded on that it could have been "the easist goal ever" by other pundits.

So, I'm sure the Nigerian international is feeling bad enough, right? Well, Everton's manager David Moyes obviously didn't think he's not going to cry every time he sees it on the "silly bloopers of footcer" type shows and decided to call him out in front of the media.

"I've not been ranting and raving because the performance was good. The first thing a centre-half learns is you don't play square across the box - You do that in Sunday league teams."

It could be a long season in the blue half of Liverpool is Moyes keeps that kind of berating in public places up. Not that the 0-2 loss to the Red Devils tells the season but they also lost striker James Beattie to injury for the second half of the match. No reports yet on how long he'll be out.

Wonder who David Moyes will blame for that in public? :)

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Sorry I didn't write yesterday. QPR being in second place in the Colaship depressed me. :p

Just To Get This In Writing

There's something happening at 6:45 a.m. U.S. Central Time tomorrow but I can't remember what it is off the top of my head. ;)

Here are my predictions for a league that I can't remember the name of right now:

1. Chelsea - the rich just keep on getting richer. They won't win all the silverware, but they're taking home a lot.
2. Manchester United - not because they got any better (though signing VDS means their weakest position is now solid) but only because Arsenal isn't as good.
3. Arsenal - still looking for a goalie and Viera is going to hurt.
4. Liverpool - actually considered putting Liverpool ahead of Arsenal but there's no way the Gunners finish 4th. Still, Liverpool is now stock loaded with talent.
5. Bolton - the experience of UEFA Cup will only make this team stronger in the league. Plus, they now have experienced what keeping a spot near the top takes. Look out for Borgetti too.
6. Tottenham - more talent than Bolton. This is the year they take the next leap. If they don't do it this year, Jol is in trouble.
7. Aston Villa - Make the jump from midtable through Hughes and Phillips.
8. Middlesbrough - Loss of Bolo hurts but Yakubu more than makes up for it so it's a push (basically) from last year.
9. Everton - Enough talent but they got a lot of bounces last year.
10. Charlton - Great off-season signings but they're still Charlton and will drop below Villa, 'Boro, and Everton as the season draws to a close.
11. Birmingham City - no real comment, they're just there. Teams that are just there finish mid-table.
12. Blackburn - the team everyone will love to hate will make people hate them by actually winning this year.
13. Manchester City - This team is in disarray but they have a miracle worker manager.
14. Portsmouth - People underestimate this side so much this year. Loss of Yakubu is terrible but since they got two key Newcastle players, I'll put them in Newcastle's position from last year.
15. Fulham - about one possible piece away from the relegation zone. Thankfully none of those pieces fell away.
16. Newcastle United - the second of the two teams in horrible disarray right now. At times they'll look brilliant but their offense is anemic at best this year. I'll be amazed if they don't finish lower. Everyone picking them in the top 10 really needs to get up-to-date with what's happened Tyneside during the off-season. If they get Owen they'll finish 11th or 12th.
17. West Ham - they're putting the pieces together to do some damage in the future. Enough is in place now to keep them up.
18. Sunderland - the Stead signing was promising but other than that they're still a Colaship side.
19. West Brom - won't be pulling any escaping acts this year except escaping the Premiership.
20. Wigan - you can't compete in the Premiership on an MLS level salary structure. Alright, it's higher than that by a lot but not near Premiership level.

Colaship newbies for 2006/7: Sheffield United (the fast start is for real), Wolverhampton, and Ipswich (as playoff winner). Other playoff teams: Preston North End, Leeds United, and Norwich City.

That's all. Not much else to say since my mind is just a-racing too much. Oh, if you would all be so kind as to fill out the Fox Soccer Channel survey and push for them to buy the rights to the Colaship and the Eredivisie, it would be much oblidged. :)

One Story Up Front And Two In The Back

If I could offer the Fire a little bit of advice, it's that if you draw 14,000 to a mid-week match (especially as part of a children's promotion), you shouldn't lose to Kansas City, especially not blowing a 2-0 lead to do it. See, I think this is the Fire's curse this year. They'll win until people realize they exist again and then they'll just hit the skids.

The next game is against Landon Donovan (I mean the Los Angeles Galaxy). So the couple of Galaxy fans that read this, get ready for your first win outside the Home Depot Center in front of 16,000. :)

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Speaking of prolific drops, I'm going to say this only once, but I'll say it in all caps and bold. :)

NEWCASTLE UNITED IS NOT FINISHING TOP 10 IN THE PREMIERSHIP!

I think that fans of the Premiership are about the last group of people to realize this. Their transfer targets have all seemingly looked at the rest of the roster and said, "what's the opportunity for advancement in this company?"

In the last few days, the list of people who haven't been able to negotiate personal terms seems to keep growing. And in the biggest blow Fenerbahce has told the stripers, that Nicolas Anelka is not for sale.

But an even worse blow mentally for Newcastle has got to be that they couldn't negotiate personal terms with a transfer that they had already bought - Francesco Coco.

The list of players who have rejected or didn't complete a move to Newcastle United could make a great basis for a team all by themselves (adding Mark Viduka, Robbie Keane and Luis Boa Morte).

And in a hot off the presses news story, one of the strikers that Newcastle United planned to use in this week's match against Chelsea to second a probable Alan Shearer, Michael Chopra, got injured!

Now of course if they sign Michael Owen, they may finish as high as 8th. But, if Owen has an ounce of sense in his head, he's not going to board the sinking ship in northeast England.

I've already got a beer wagered on this fact and am willing to bet the same with anyone who thinks Newcastle United are going to finish top 10 this season. They're more likely to implode completely and finish 17th.

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One last half Fire related story. Goalie Zach Thornton finally flipped his lid completely yesterday (it's been building all season) and got red carded by the officials for arguing at the end of the first half.

Were he not nearing the end of his career, I'd say his antics were trying to get him back to Europe and play in England (though as someone who's not a national team member, he's not eligible to play in England).

England, however, is cracking down hard this upcoming season on that sort of antics. According to a spokesman for the FA officials:

"Any player who provokes a direct confrontation with a match official and uses offensive, insulting or abusive language will be dismissed."

Or, we can just "politely" (pun intended) refer to this as the Wayne Rooney rule. :)

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While Thornton was left off the national team again, the roster that was chosen for the qualifier against Trinidad & Tobago is an interesting one. While the United States haven't wrapped up a spot in Germany yet, it looks like Bruce Arena is trying to fill in the last pieces of the World Cup roster with some of the MLS' finest performers this season.

Kevin Hartman, Jeff Cunningham, and Taylor Twellman all get nods (along with many of the usual suspects). Carlos Bocanegra is being left in England while fighting against injuries and for a spot with Fulham.

In Twellman's case, I think this cap bring him close to making him eligible to play for Newcastle United. Look out my fellow Revs supporters (especially the ones for whom New England is their primary team), you may be missing Taylor for the playoffs because the Magpies are desperate. :)

Funny To See Ajax Needing To Act Bush League

It looks a lot like David Moyes' "Christmas present" was a big lump of coal. While in the very opening minutes of the Everton/Villareal match at Goodison Park, the home team looked (well I listened to it on the internet so sounded) dominant. But Villareal (aka CONMEBOL Northeast) eventually got the jitters out and cruised to a 2-1 victory heading back to Spain.

Maybe Everton will borrow some of their Liverpool neighbors in red's magic from last season and come back with a road victory in two weeks. After all, it's doubtful that 'Pool will have to use much mojo (yesterday's entry finds itself sneaking into this one) to overcome CSKA Sofia.

In the other Champion League match of the day for our language, Manchester United has less trouble with Debrecen than the Glazer brothers had with the crowds.

Though I somehow doubt that signing autographs for fans interested in their celebrity while 700 people protested outside is going to make them lose any sleep.

Seriously, if 51,000 people showing up for a match with minimal pre-sale during a busy travel time against a mediocre side (Champions League or not) is a successful boycott than I beg everyone - please successfully boycott all MLS games for the rest of the season. :)

In other Champions League scores, that disease of the spleen Anorthosis nearly followed through on their words as big as Cyprus (knocking two potential goals off the post) before falling to Rangers 2-1.

Wisla Krakow shocked the world by winning 3-1 over some 27 letter Greek team. Or, well, at least shocked me since I didn't see that one coming. Real Betis beat Monaco in Spain 1-0 (I still think Monaco is going to win the return leg sort of near France and advance). And in the match no one outside of Belgium or Norway even bothers mentioning happened, Club Brugge lost to Valerenga in Norway 1-0 (another result which I think will be overturned in the return leg).

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Tomorrow's Champions League encounters include Ajax who look to make things nice and clean (alright, that joke is really old but I couldn't help it) against Brondby in Denmark.

In a way, even though they're PSV's biggest rivals, I feel for Ajax because they're being treated like an MLS team for their opener in the Eredivisie.

The mayor of Amsterdam has told one of the largest clubs in Europe that they just can't spare enough policemen on August 14 to ensure their match is safe. Ajax tried to petition the Dutch footcer authorities to have match take place at the grounds of their opponent ADO Den Haag (with the return leg scheduled in The Hague later this season moved to Amsterdam). After all, if you want safety, where better to hold a match than The Hague? But poor Ajax was turned down by that city's mayor too.

So Ajax is now going to have to play at a neutral site or to an empty stadium for their opener.

Hopefully the Manchester United boycotters don't get wind of this story since if they realize they can get the mayor of Manchester on their side, all their problems might be solved.

The only problem is that the mayor of Manchester is probably a Manchester City fan. After all, no one actually from Manchester actually roots for United (look another old joke thrown in for good measure).

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Finally, today was a busy day in the Colaship with some more surprising results. Foremost amongst these was Crystal Palace losing AGAIN (this time 2-1 to Wolverhampton) to find themselves in dead last after two matches. Which is a somewhat familiar position for them from last year, just a division down.

Luton Town, despite Harry Redknapp's warnings that Southampton would learn from Crystal Palace's mistakes, beat the Saints 3-2. Luton stands in second having beaten two of the three demoted Premiership teams, Southampton stands in 19th.

Only 44 games left of course. Still it makes me laught that Luton Town just smacked two of the larger clubs in the Colaship as if they were still facing League One opposition.

Norwich (who unlike the other two, no one expected to come back to the Premiership)? They did a little better against Crewe (who were nearly knocked out the Colaship last season), coming up with their second home draw of the season, 1-1. They currently sit 14th.

Sheffield United won convincingly again and are currently first. Leeds United (for your daily Eddie Lewis' team update) lost to Cardiff City (oops) 2-1. Preston North End tied Derby 1-1 at home yesterday in a rematch of last year's playoffs semi-final and stand 5th.

I'd say end the season today but QPR stands in a playoff position and other Fulham fans would shoot me if I did. :)

Disembodied Voices Are The New Astrologers

Recently I was watching Fox Soccer Channel as I'm known to (too) often do when there wasn't a match on and I came across an old episode of World Soccer. On it was a story about the Brazilian MNT using a psychic to help them win the World Cup in 2002 (which may or may not have been publicized at the time, I forget).

Well, even if it was a bunch of hooey, which it might or might not be (and since this isn't that kind of blog, I'm not going to get into my personal feelings on it), Brazil did win.

So perhaps other teams are following their lead. Not using a psychic and hiding the fact but using whatever supernatural means possible to get the results they need.

If Brazil in 2002 is any indication, maybe people shouldn't write off France in their 2006 World Cup qualifying campaign, because apparently there's some sort of mumbo jumbo going on.

Today Zinedine Zidane revealed to the world that he was drawn out of international retirement to play for the French MNT by a voice. And it wasn't a manager or another player's voice but a mysterious disembodied voice.

Now Zidane is getting up there in years, but he's far from senile and I don't think he's taken too many headers so perhaps he's telling the truth when he states:

"One night, at three in the morning, I woke up suddenly and then, I talked to someone. That person really exists but it all comes from very far."

Who knows though. Maybe he just got a late night phone call from Tony Parker and something's lost in the translation.

Fact or fiction? The world may never know.

*cue eerie music*

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This next link isn't funny but it is really interesting so I thought I'd share. This year marks the first time since reunification that there is not a single team from the former East Germany in the Bundesliga.

Maybe they all the former East German teams just disappeared to consult with Zidane's friend the voice and will come back stronger than ever in a resurgance.

Fact or fiction? The world may never know.

*cue eerie music*

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There was one other voice obviously talking to someone and giving them bad ideas because Steve Sampson was chosen to coach the MLS All-Stars during their upcoming friendly.

That voice was obviously on drugs and has nothing to do with either of the two stories. Perhaps it was just Sigi Schmid making trouble.

*cue eerie music*

Watching The SPL Is Not As Painful As Being Romo

One of the best conversations on BigSoccer (in my opinion of course) as of late has been a poll on which is better, the SPL or MLS. In the end, the SPL got quite a late burst of support and is winning 46.73% to 38.32%. 14.95% of respondants chose the option "they are about the same in terms of quality."

It seems as though early on in this European season, Scotland has established themselves as the whipping boy league. All on the basis of one aggregate loss by Celtic.

Still Rangers and Celtic will steamroll their way to some pretty good dominations this year in the world's most predictable league as they are almost good enough to play in Holland. Alright, I never said I would avoid the dogpile (and I know that statement in ludicrous). :)

For the record, however, I did say that MLS was better in reality.

The most fascinating Scotland basher this season seems to be Anorthosis Famagusta, who is Rangers' opponent in the 3rd round of the Champions League. The little Cypriot side is obviously thinking they're an anonymous Eastern European team who will catch Rangers by surprise the way Artmedia Bratislava did Celtic. When, in reality they're a Southern European team. And they surprise no one.

Well, the Greek national team, but that doesn't count.

The Anorthosis manager actually had the nerve to say: "Now is our big chance to move into the group stage of the Champions League."

As if they have more of a shot against Rangers because they're Scottish or something.

Alright, I know I'm overexaggerating this to get a rant out of it. It's a slow news day in the footcer world. :)

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Thank you to We Call It Soccer for an in-depth analysis of the Clint Mathis incident.

Warning, if you've got a faint stomach, are male, or under 5'0", you should not ride this ride. I still feel the pain from reading it! Still it's worth a read once you've braced yourself.

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Screw the Champions League! Tomorrow is the first leg of the finals (there are actually three of them) of the Intertoto Cup (otherwise known as the "underachievers anonymous" tourney) happen tomorrow. The featured team is surely my prediction for surprise team in all of Europe for the 2005/6 season - Valencia CF.

Sure it can't be too much of a surprise team since they won La Liga two years ago (and four years ago) but they should turn heads because they were 7th in said league last year.

They're going to come in 2nd in La Liga this year (if not outright win it) not due to some statistical "it's their time based on a pattern" but because they completely revamped their offense and because a certain guy named Kluivert is going to be out to prove he can still play.

Once they get into it, they'll win the UEFA Cup at least. And they won't even need Rafa Benitez this time around.

The Intetoto Cup finals are as follows:

Hamburg (Germany) v. Valencia (Spain)
Cluj (Romania) v. Lens (France)
Deportivo La Coruna (Spain) v. Olympique Marseille (France)

Not a Scottish team among them. Just like the finals of the actual UEFA Cup or Champions League. ;)

MLS' Worst Nightmare - A Domestic Treble/Relocation Contender

As of today's MLS' worst nightmare is officially on the front burner. San Jose, who by all reports will no longer exist as soon as this season ends, now stands in first in the Supporter's Shield standings with Chicago and New England both losing and FC Dallas only managing a draw in the Pizza Hut Park grand opening.

With their win over Portland in the last round of the U.S. Open Cup, they're still alive and facing a heavily slumping Galaxy in San Jose in the quarters. Since the Galaxy can't even beat the (c)Rapids away from the Home Depot Center, San Jose can still make some noise there.

Meanwhile, having the first seed in the West would mean drawing said (c)Rapids in the first round of the playoffs and if there's one thing the Earthquakes know about right now, it's momentum.

Quite simply, the Bay Area boys are seemingly unstoppable right now.

Besides the Fire and FC Dallas, the Earthquakes are the only teams left with a chance at doing what no MLS team has ever done before - the domestic treble (Supporter's Shield, U.S. Open Cup, MLS Cup).

And they would follow it up by morphing into Club America Houston before our very eyes.

Some would say that would be a way of going out in style but I think that would be the biggest slap in the credibility face MLS has had since they still had penalty kicks for every match.

I wonder what Don Garber is thinking right now.

I forgot, he doesn't usually like to actually think.

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Meanwhile on things going right as far as the United States presence in Europe goes, something wonderful happened today (watches as plastic bag floats by). Claudio Reyna wore the captain's armband for Manchester City in their final pre-season friendly against Olympiacos, which they won 3-1.

The selection was due to regular skipper Sylvain Distin's groin injury.

But, more importantly it means that Claudio Reyna has now been captain on every team he has ever played for. Not that I wish ill will on Distin (since Manchester City's having enough problems going into their opener) but it would be amazing to see Reyna captain a Premiership side for an entire season.

I still stand behind my convictions that Claudio Reyna will be the first United States born manager in the Premiership.

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I know I was a little harsh in the first part of this post about MLS so I'll bring up the glory moment that happened today. Jamaican international Andy Williams scored MLS' 5000th regular season goal in the Real Salt Lake match against Chivas USA.

The crazy thing is, in the footcer mad town of Salt Lake City where they're averaging 20,738, only 14,163 showed up today.

Pehaps if it were somewhere like, I don't know, Chicago where the press coverage sucks, the fans might not have been aware they were witnessing a milestone. Not that 14,000+ is anything to sneeze at but it is a little odd that less Utahans showed up to see history than just a normal game against, say Columbus.

Though it must be said that league-wide, the fans seem to have forgotten about the MLS in the two weeks since they've played everywhere but Chicago and Colorado which somehow drew above their season averages.

I guess absence made the heart grow fonder in a couple of markets. And that may be the best news of the day in MLS that wasn't pre-planned.

The Top League For Excitement Started Today Not Next Week

I don't know how I completely forgot to mention this in last week's post about the European leagues starting up but my absolute favorite league in the entire world started up today. And I don't mean the Bundesliga (which technically started up yesterday anyhow), I mean the Coca Cola Championship in England.

This league is my favorite because nearly anything can happen and almost always does. And that something results in three teams being newbies in the Premiership.

The Colaship is what the Premiership used to be. It's a league where the best team in the league still loses five or six games and where there are anywhere up to usually eight teams competing for the title all the way through the end of the season to win automatic promotion to the Premiership (and to get into the 3rd-6th playoff, it's half the league).

Well there are certain parts of that the Premiership has never been (maybe counting European places, it's as exciting at points table-wise).

It's basically what MLS could be if it was a single table. :)

Today, for example, Crystal Palace, straight down from the Premiership and still with Andy Johnson, lost to Luton, straight up from League One, 2-1. It was a generally awful day for the new big boys demoted last season as Norwich tied Coventry City (last year 19th) 1-1, and Southampton tied perennial contenders since their own demotion a couple of years ago Wolverhampton (Wolves - last year 9th) 0-0.

The most interesting aspect for me, however, is going to be trying to choose a team. Leeds United should be the choice since Eddie Lewis decided to move there from Preston North End during the off-season. But, I think my heart is staying with Preston and the great strike paring of Richard Cresswell and David Nugent (2-1 winners over London burbies Watford).

The big winners in the Colaship today, and currently in first place with a +3 GD is perennial contenders (though like I said, there are about ten of them) Sheffield United who cruised to a 4-1 victory over Leichester at home. Their old archrivals Sheffield Wednesday (also promoted this year from League One) tied Stoke City 0-0 in their first match back in England's most exciting division.

Even after the Premiership kicks off, it's still the first active division in my heart. :)

A Way For Beckham To Work On His Tan In The Future

It appears as though Real Madrid didn't get the memo from Asia which stated in big red letters, "we don't want you exploiting us with your dog-and-pony shows." Or, they may have gotten the memo and used the back of it to write out a thank you and goodbye note in urine to Luis Figo.

Either way, Real Madrid is planning to build a theme park in Beijing. But since this is the footcer socblog, there's also going to be a theme park closer to home - in Miami!

On the front cover of the new ESPN: The Magazine is a scowling David Beckham and the headline, "David Beckham: All-American." The entire article outlines how Beckham could sell the game in America (because as the writer points out, he's sick of being too American for the British).

Obviously Real Madrid missed the memo this was being published also since they plan on bypassing their marketable star and instead plan on opening footcer Disney World.

My only question is why Miami?

Of course the answer that a lot of footcer fans should be salivating over due to the rumor mill is that Real Madrid plans on starting a Chivas USA type of arrangement in the former home of the Fusion (but not placing the team in Broward County to avoid the stumbling block of the contracted team).

If they want to invest in a stadium/amusement park, more power to them!

It does give new meaning to multi-purpose venue. And as has been pointed out many places elsewhere, MLS is excited about multi-purpose venues. :)

There is a dark cloud in the silver lining that seems to be Real Madrid's huge interest in the United States. David Beckham is poised to sign an extension to his contract with the club that would last until 2009 - basically the end of his career. This means that all his talk about playing for the Galaxy or MetroStars might be all talk.

Though this does pose an interest aside. Would part of this contract include playing with Real Madrid's expansion team in Miami (should it get off the ground). Beckham himself has said he wants to play for the previously mentioned teams if he plays in the United States.

But could Real Madrid have another trick up its sleeve?

I guess we'll find out in a year or so. After all, it seems as though Harrison is getting up its stadium fast. It couldn't take that much longer in Miami since in both cases, the New York mob would be heavily involved. :)

The Yearly August Geography Lesson

I was all for Liverpool being included in the qualification rounds of the Champions League (and since this blog exists, I have record to prove it). The only problem that I have with it is the fact that it distracts from some truly interesting matches that would ordinarily warrant much better coverage. That and I'm 1/4 Lithuanian but I don't think any Kaunas fans are deluding themselves into thinking they would have done much better against anyone.

But, the match that turned out to be quite a shocker is Dynamo Kiev getting knocked out at the second stage (well unless you compare it to Celtic who nearly came back losing on aggregate 4-5) by FC Thun of Switzerland who was competing for the first time.

My how the mighty have fallen.

It used to be you could mention Dynamo Kiev as one of the powerhouse teams of Europe. During communist times, they actually dominated the league in the former Soviet Union quite a few times.

They're still the Chelsea of Ukraine though. Though being the Chelsea of Ukraine means you get players from the likes of Bulgaria, Croatia, and Lithuania as opposed to all over Europe (the Euro to Hryvnia exchange isn't great).

They're quicky becoming also-rans in the Ukrainian league. Well, not an also ran as they currently sit in 3rd after four matches in the first half of the split season. But the power and the European glory now sits with Shakhtar Donetsk (which anyone in western Ukraine will laudit). Hence why they had to qualify this year and hence why Shakhtar now sits alone.

The third round draw is as follows (and hades, I'll even make my picks):

Basel (Switzerland) v. Werder Bremen (Germany)
Artmedia Bratislava (Slovakia) v. Partizan Belgrade (Serbia)
Shakhtar Donetsk (Ukraine) v. Inter Milan (Italy)
Steaua Bucharest (Romania) v. Rosenborg (Norway)
Manchester United (England) v. Debrecen (Hungary)
Malmo (Sweden) v. Thun (Switzerland)
Everton (England) v. Villareal (Spain)
Liverpool (England) v. CSKA Sofia (Bulgaria)
Sporting Lisbon (Portugal) v. Udinese (Italy)
Valerenga (Norway) v. Club Brugge (Belgium)
Rapid Vienna (Austria) v. Lokomotiv Moscow (Russia)
Anderlecht (Belgium) v. Slavia Prague (Czech Republic)
Anorthosis (Cyprus) v. Rangers (Scotland)
Brondby (Denmark) v. Ajax (Holland)
Real Betis (Spain) v. Monaco (France)
Wisla (Poland) v. Panathinaikos (Greece)

I can't believe I did that. Don't even let me try with the UEFA Cup. Which, by the way, Newcastle United now is officially out of losing their Intertoto semi-final to Deportivo La Coruna (Spain).

Where is my keyboard with foreign letters when I need it? :)

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Oh, they found Chelsea's lion unharmed. So it obviously wasn't plushies or Arsenal fans that had the mascot. :)

I Was Here In The US And Had Nothing To Do With The Lion

So I haven't posted in a couple of days for reasons that a few people may have figured out. Let me just say that Columbus is a beautiful city and that I hope Chris Coleman scouted Taylor Twellman really well. Once he gets his starts for the national team (and can therefore qualify for a work permit in England), he should be the next United States player to don the Fulham kit. *nudge, nudge* :)

Fulham is now the new inside favorite for relegation (at least amongst the teams that have been in the Premiership and not the new promotioneers) according to the BS punditry.

But I have faith that my Cottagers are just trying to help the betting public and make the season interesting like they always do. ;)

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Hey! At least we didn't get our mascot stolen like our derby partners.

Yes, in a bit of funny news straight out of a high school newspaper, Stamford the Lion has been stolen from Stamford Bridge. With the budget that Chelsea has, at least they could have posted some sort of reward, like 3 million pounds or something for its safe return.



Or, at least they could learn their lesson and buy a backup. From the above linked Daily Mirror story:

"The shocking crime has left Chelsea desperately short of mascots. In fact, they don't have another one."

It's the details. It's the details. Chef Ramsay would not be proud.

What's next? Is someone going to leave a pile of flaming dog crap outside the main entrance to Arsenal's grounds?

If that happens, I had nothing to do with it. ;)

There are only two groups of people I can think of that had something to do with the missing costumed character. Either Aresenal fans, who wanted to get a prank over on Chelsea before the Community Shield match or plushies.

If it's the second group that stole the lion, I really don't think Chelsea will want it back. :)

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In other news, I joined a fantasy pick-'em league.

I just can't believe that the Colaship starts this weekend (along with the other lower leagues). Hopefully Chris Coleman's staff can concentrate on scouting MLS and not on scouting the Coca Cola Championship.