Rapping Up The Footcer Rumors Of The Day

I am a crap footcer fan today. While there was a match between the USL All-Stars and Sheffield Wednesday, I chose to see "The Devil Wears Prada" instead (oh yeah, and then there's the small matter of New England Revolution v. Celtic). Well, I guess it's a way to be involved in something New York City without discussing Red Bull New York's hiring of Bruce Arena as new coach and technical director.

And such settles one rumor. But there are two others which are much more interesting floating around the footcer world right now.

The first involves Clint "More Animal Than Man" Dempsey (why that hasn't caught on yet, I'll never know) who is being, according to the rumor mill, courted by West Ham United and Charlton Athletic.

I can only imagine the hooligans at West Ham United and how they'd embrace Clint Dempsey. I mean, he'd need to start listening to grime to fit in the east end, but I think his rap career could take off in London. And, of course his footcer career as well.

The other rumor that's really gaining some traction is Jared Borgetti coming to the Chicago Fire as Bolton wants to offload him.

This isn't even a real rumor, but more wishful thinking on the part of Chicago Fire fans. Well, me. It's been so long since the Fire had a legitimate superstar and Borgetti would fit that bill nicely (as well as serving as an example for our young striker corps).

The factual part of the rumor is that Borgetti is being shopped around and the team that has shown the most interest is Racing Santander. Much as I'd love to have another recognizable face in La Liga (for purely selfish reasons as unlike the Prem, La Liga news isn't easy to come by so the players can kind of be a blur), I wonder how a move to a team that stands a great chance of being relegated to the Segunda Division would benefit Borgetti.

He'd be much better off coming to MLS where each week he'd have people coming out just to see him. Well, maybe not every week but most weeks. But here in Chicago, he'd be a draw amongst the Mexican populace which is something the Fire lost in recent times.

And from what I hear, he's available for about a million (transfer fee, not personal terms). Sure he'd be the highest paid player on the fire - but when your star player who's supposed to draw is Tony Sanneh (at least he's our player who makes over $300,000) we need something.

I mean there's other places he could go like FC Dallas (but with Ruiz and Cooper, he's just overkill) or Los Angeles but Chicago is Borgetti's kind of town.

Come to Chicago or don't bother joining another side. :)

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Speaking of other sides, here's a funny picture from the Nicaraguan League:





I would like to again thank the leagues of Central America for making MLS seem like a well oiled machine.

One thing came out of the incident that was sort of odd - a realization. As I made fun of the Nicaraguan League, a suppoter from El Salvador said the following to me: "I'd rather watch a game from my poorly organized but exciting local league than an MLS match."

Which lead me to the following conclusion - MLS is just a whipping boy because it doesn't bother fighting back. When people from countries who MLS teams usually beat - basically every Central American country but Costa Rica (and then they only lose to Saprissa) - start knocking MLS there's just no other explanation.

Maybe MLS just wants to be a good neighbor or something but they need to remind the small leagues that we steal their best players that don't go to Europe on a regular basis and we'd steal more if MLS allowed more than four senior internationals per team.

Well I for one am not putting up with it anymore and MLS shouldn't either.

By the way, on that note: FC Dallas 2, Tigres 0.

They could blow the lead in Monterrey but MLS has again proven that at home, the teams can beat anybody. What's that old saying about the national team matching the personality of the country (or at least the country's domestic team)?

Still Running A Few Days Behind

This post would have made more sense had I posted it while it was still topical (also known as Friday):

Damn VH1 again! So I had just started watching "The Libertine" before I decided that I should probably eat something if I want to make the seven hour train to bus ride to Toyota Park (I almost said Pizza Hut Park but that would have taken a plane flight into DFW as well) so I turned it off.

First thing when I was eating I turned on CNN and the whole thing was just too troubling so I decided to flip through my favorite channels. What should I stumble on but VH1 showing "Best Week Ever." Now it was the end but I watched it anyhow and what should appear next but "Web Junk 20."

I just had to watch it because if the Zinadine Zidane parody wasn't the #1 web video of the week, I was going to be quite angry.

Though looking around the interweb myself today, I can't say I blame Zidane anymore because the BBC found a lipreading analyst to see what was said.

He apparently told him that he hoped he and his family died a painful death. Now I think he overreacted just as bad as Wayne Rooney but at least he was provoked more than the younger hothead.

That's not the video that's the funniest though (it's actually pretty serious). There is a collection of all the various parodies set to friggin' Benny Hill!

Then there's this Nintendo one if you're feeling really old school.

And finally there's this super mega mix over Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" or this shorter one set to Blur's "Song 2" or this more touching one set to Take That's "I Want You Back."

When I say touching, I mean both kinds of touching. ;)

Though I feel really bad because in the end it's almost always Materazzi who becomes the butt of the joke (pardon the pun). Aw hell, he's got the silverware so I can't feel too bad for him.

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So yeah, BRUCE ARENA IS OUT. But the sad thing is it wasn't of his own volition. He still feels like he did nothing wrong which is amazing.

Maybe it's just a Brooklyn thing but being fired just isn't good enough for him. He should be forced to apologize in front of the nation and do the talk show circuits after the debacle he made of everything in Germany.

His career's going to go on unlike Zidane's (rumor has it, he'll be coaching Red Bull New York in the very near future not that it will help that cursed team) and he's going to go through life not taking any responsibility.

You'd think if you got fired in the middle of LaGuardia Airport, it would turn on flashing lights that it really is all your fault!

The saddest thing I've heard (again, both kinds of sad) to come out of the whole debacle is that someone, in Sports Illustrated so it's kind of understandable, dropped Dave Sarachan as a possible replacement.

He's done such a splendid job with the Fire and all. Put him in charge and watch our FIFA rankings fall below that of Canada.

Have we really dropped that low in esteem so quickly that Dave Sarachan is listed as a possible replacement.

That's the kind of national morale that only Bruce Arena could muster.

By the way, the video in question was #1 on the list so I thoroughly endorse VH1's judgement in this case. :)

Just A Bunch Of Good Footcerific Stuff

This is the best footcer news day in ages. Not is Bruce Arena canned (but give five months notice) but Juventus was relegated and AC Milan was docked 15 points in the Italian scandal.

Does this mean that we'll finally have a competitive top league in Europe?

Probably not. It just means Inter Milan will run away with it.

Only a month until the Colaship starts though. :)

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From a couple of days ago:

The World Cup ratings are in and wow.

The finals drew 17 million viewers (12 million on ABC and 5 million on Univision). This puts it on par with the NBA Finals and World Series deciding games.

And the future looks bright, at least to advertisers.

And, well, fuck off footcer haters, your time will soon be over. Get with it now or be confined to the dustbin of history. Among "the kids" (actual kids this time, 12-17), the rating increased almost 400 percent for this World Cup.

But possibly better news is that people are still talking about the "headbutt heard round the world."

There were actually two incidents in this World Cup that are going to have legs in the United States for years to come and while both involve violence, at least once and for all people are talking about the real aspects of footcer as opposed to ones that the media seems to manufacture that in no way resembles the real game.

And now people actually watched it again for the first time since the nation was caught up in hosting hysteria in 1994 and can remind the old fucker punditry that their eyes and the ears no longer agree with the lies and misinformation (see, the problem is it just takes us Yanks a little while longer to realize things since we're stubborn).

By the way, the new FIFA rankings are out today and thankfully the United States is no longer horribly inflated (due to a welcome update in the ranking procedures). Most importantly, England is now ranked much higher so hopefully the English won't be so uppity about the rankings anymore.

Though I suspect Australians aren't that happy right now. So as was once said on bigsoccer.com, "the circle of life continues."

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LINK OF THE DAY

http://www.ggzidane.com/

A site dedicated to all things Zidane headbutt.

The Cult Of Cristiano Spreads

I originally wrote this on the 3rd and meant to post this on the 4th (because the sentiment contained within pretty much matches the holiday) but, you know, drunkenness got in the way.

All I have to add is the real footcer winner as far as the United States goes is Cristiano Ronaldo. That is, at least among the ladies who don't hate footcer and are watching the World Cup. I was at this cookout with my indie friends and, damn, about five of them were drooling over Cristiano.

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I am so mad at Wayne Rooney right now that I could, well, kick him in... No, I won't even go there. See, here's the thing. Even though FIFA officially announced that Wayne Rooney was red carded for kicking Ricardo Carvalho in an uncomfortable place, there are still those walking around calling Christiano Ronaldo a cheater.

What did Ronaldo do? He taunted Rooney until he lost his temper while the two were fighting for possession. Yeah, that's cheating. And he approached the referee to complain about the incident. Yeah that's cheating.

It was one thing to say that Christiano Ronaldo cheated when it was thought that Wayne Rooney could have been red carded for the direct incident with Ronaldo but only England fans honestly thought that it wasn't for the kick to the beans that Rooney gave Carvalho - while he was on the ground.

And now Steven Gerrard and Joe Cole are complaining that Christiano Ronaldo was out of order for complaining to the ref.

If anything the England team should be thankful to Ronaldo for complaining to the referee since the possibility could have existed that it would have distracted the ref from Rooney kicking a Portugese defender where the sun doesn't shine.

Yeah, there's no euphamisms about this - England should just have the balls to admit that Rooney's an idiot!

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Oh and for cripes sakes! Hargreaves' performance was not a shock. I just love hearing, "he did so well, he'll probably play in the Premiership now." Sorry to burst the bubble but there are only three teams in the Premiership that are a step up from Bayern Munich.

One of them uses Essien in the Hargreaves role so they don't need him. Though one of them could sure use Hargreaves ever since they got rid of Viera. ;)

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Finally, I hope MLS doesn't do anything to Youri Djorkaeff for choosing to be at the World Cup instead of with Red Bull New York. MLS shouldn't have even been playing during the World Cup.

Perhaps it was a not so silent protest by Youri about the fact that he's used to playing in leagues that respect FIFA events.

Though, saying that, there are other leagues that played during part of the World Cup (Colombia is the largest with at least Chile and Peru joining them) so MLS isn't alone but that's not really an excuse.

You know which country is in no danger of playing during the World Cup, though, Greece.

I've always said that Greece kills good footcer dead but it turns out it's not just on the pitch but in the back office as well.

A Confession From A Christiano Apologist

So I have a confession to make that probably isn't that surprising but will make a lot of people on my friends list pretty angry - I was rooting for Portugal today.

Yeah, that's why I've been pretty quiet about it.

It has nothing to do with a dislike of England (despite my run-ins with England fans in recent times, though shutting them up is a great benefit of the loss) but more with the fact that I had to prove that I wasn't an England supporter to everybody.

It's so odd that if you're an English speaking footcer fan in the United States and talking to someone who doesn't know you're a United States supporter, people assume that you're an England supporter. The most recent person being one of the company lawyers on Friday. So today I decided I was going to really dislike England.

And so today I'm pretty happy about it.

Sure this is kind of mean as there are people out there who have lived and died with England their entire lives, including a few (though not many) in the United States.

Now I can go and get excited about the Premiership again and pay less attention to MLS. ;)

Seriously, though, it did allow me to root againt Brazil wholeheartedly and they came through for me and lost. Now the only two teams left that I want to lose (otherwise known as the forces of evil) are France (because I just generally hate them) and Germany (because they're the home team).

So to recap I'm pulling for a Portugal v. Italy final just to see a totally unexpected team winning it all - an unexpected team that isn't France.

Though let it be known that I was also pulling for Portugal on a positive note. It would be nice to see them win the World Cup with the remains of the golden generation (one of whom became the first goalie to stop three penalty kicks in a World Cup match) who really deserved to win Euro 2004 (despite the fact that it was on home soil).

So to avenge the loss to one of the evil teams (Greece), Portugal deserves a good turn.

And, hey, maybe Luis Boa Morte will get to play again in a bigger game than what he has already. Yeah, that's the ticket. I have a reason to be a Portugal supporter. :)